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It’s time to shake things up a littleJuly 4, 2026Homepage Display / Quality TimeShake things up: Break free of your routine to enjoy family life more
I’ve decided to energise my family life this year. Life isn’t exactly in a rut but I do feel that I always opt for what is known and what is comfortable. I am often slow to challenge myself, probably because I fear failure, and that is not always a good thing.
So I have devised a series of 12 challenges. My children just laughed when I told them the list. The best they could offer was that “it’s a bit like the 12 labours of Heracles but easier”. It had better be easier!
Learn a new activity or skill
When was the last time that you challenged yourself to learn something new? If you’re like me, you’re probably forever suggesting to your children that they try different sports or activities.
Sometimes they may believe that the activity is too difficult, or too boring, or isn’t what their friends are doing. They may have had the experience of beginning something but not quite having the commitment to follow it through.
We know that role-modelling is a hugely important thing that parents do. It is really helpful for children to see us doing things and to learn that they too can try new things. So this year I’m going to learn the guitar.
I can’t sing and I don’t have great rhythm but I’ve always wanted to play the guitar. I have no doubt that it may prove to be a frustrating experience but then life can be frustrating sometimes.
It’ll be good for my children to see me coping with that frustration and persevering nonetheless. Even if I’m not very good, which is quite likely to be the case, I hope that my children will see that I can do something I enjoy especially when I’m not perfect at it.
Climb a mountain
My children are a bit older, they range in age from seven to 13, and last year we had great intentions to climb Carauntoohil. But every weekend we planned to do so, the weather was bad.
Of course, I picked Carauntoohil because it is the highest mountain in Ireland and I was really anticipating the sense of achievement that I, and my family, would feel when we got to the top…
In many ways, it doesn’t matter how high the mountain — it’s the simple fact that we are climbing it together that is important. I have no doubt that we will be tired and maybe even grumpy at different stages but that is just all the more opportunity to show each other that we can be supportive and encouraging.
Bake or cook food together once a month
I’m a disaster when it comes to sharing the responsibilities of cooking with my family. When I cook, and I do like to cook, I have to be on my own. I think it’s because I’m such a control freak.
But food and eating are very nurturing things. Being able to provide food for my family touches on some very primitive emotions and is definitely part of my sense of being a father.
I would love my children to share some of my experiences of how preparing food can be nurturing and that means involving them in what I do in the kitchen. Also, once you get over the inevitable mess, it is great fun (apparently!).
Go out some clear night and look at the stars
I’m not big into astronomy but you don’t need to be for the night sky to be important. Clear nights, ideally away from the city glow, are a truly awe-inspiring vista. Sharing that with children is so easy and yet can be so powerful that I’m amazed I don’t do it more.
My plan is not to learn all the constellations, but simply to enjoy the majesty and the sense of place, with my children, and that can be achieved when we begin to talk about who we are and where we are in our world…
Do a first-aid course
For fear of becoming maudlin, my next task is entirely practical and is to make sure that my family are as safe as possible…
This year I want to learn how to properly strap up a sprain or, more vitally, to know the current best practice for carrying out CPR.
Depending on what age groupings they run courses for, I might even sign the children up as well. These are the kinds of life skills that we all need to learn.
Go to an art gallery
I’m not very artistic nor do I get excited by old masters but I have found that whenever I have gone to an art gallery I have discovered at least one painting that I love.
Art is one of those fundamentally human activities that truly differentiates us from other animals.
Creating and appreciating art is a true expression of human evolution. So I intend to bring my children to at least one gallery and just let them enjoy whatever picture grabs their fancy…
Have organised family meetings
This is one that will definitely please my wife. For years she has been reminding me of just how important these meetings are and now that my children are getting older I am finally starting to listen to her.
It is really good to have some kind of an open forum in a family, whether it be to air grievances or to make plans, or just simply to find out how everyone’s doing.
As our children become more independent, they need to be more involved in the decisions that affect them. We need to formally set time aside or we may never get to talk about the important things.
Get a family portrait taken
I’m not interested in going to a photographer and having a fancy studio session to create some beautiful image of my family. I am interested, however, in recording how our family is growing and developing.
Since we got a digital camera seven years ago we have almost no new photographs of our children on display despite having over 8,000 photos on the computer.
Every so often, over the years, we’ve had a really nice picture of our family taken by friends or family and it always captures a moment. The visual image is so powerful at bringing back the memory and allows me to remember, and re-imagine, aspects of my family or my children that I may have forgotten.
A particular smile, a haircut, an outfit or a location can all remind me of the essential goodness of my children that can get lost in the frenzy of day-to-day life.
So, by the end of this year I intend to have at least one new picture of all of us together, printed and framed on the wall, so that I can easily remember what my family means to me.
Plant something we can eat
I live in the countryside in Co Clare. We even have a vegetable plot in our garden. In theory, then, it should be easy for me to grow at least some of my own food. But I’m lazy like that.
I’m also not entirely sold on the idea of self-sufficiency but I do recognise that food must come from somewhere and I’d rather know where it’s coming from.
So I’m going to start small. We won an apple tree in a raffle just before Christmas and so I am going to plant that.
Even if you don’t have a garden you can grow tomatoes on your windowsill. Your children will love to watch them develop and they may even enjoy the tomatoes that get produced.
Organise a family visit to the Dail
I get very wound up by politics and find myself seething with anger at the almost criminal way some politicians have acted in the past.
I’m aware, however, that my children have no real context for understanding these rants. So this year I’m going to bring them up to the Dail and let them see, in action or non-action, the spectacle of two or three politicians looking bored while another politician drones through a scripted speech…
Despite my own slightly jaded political cynicism, democracy still seems like the best system to have. If we are to be truly engaged in a democratic society then we must also take politics seriously. However, while the Dail remains some distant and intangible place in Dublin then politics itself might also remain distant and intangible for me and my family.
Have a monthly media-free weekend
I’m pretty sure that my children already see me as some kind of a media dictator, determined to prevent them from having any kind of fun or living any kind of digital life. But I strongly believe that TV, the internet and mobile phones are there to serve our needs and we do not need to be a slave to them.
In truth, I am the person who probably most needs to take a break from the computer and emails. However, I notice that this sense that we don’t have enough time creeps into families and it is as if we put living on hold while we are constantly waiting for the next thing to happen. “I can’t help you now, I just want to wait for the end of ‘Fair City’,” “Hang on while I just check this text message,” “I’ll be down in a minute. I just want to check something on the computer,” “Sorry, were you talking to me? I was just updating my status.”
Media is not intrinsically bad but like everything else it needs to find a place of balance within our lives. The pressure on children to be permanently connected is massive and even though they might complain about being disconnected, it’s good for them to take a break.
Join up at our local library
Actually, this is a bit of a cheat because we just renewed our family membership of the Co Clare library, so I can feel good that I’ve already got a head start.
Books and reading provide some of the balance to media connectivity and I love the fact that reading is such a tonic for the imagination. I enjoy reading and I’m delighted that it is one of those activities that seems to have passed on seamlessly to my children…
This piece was written by David Coleman, clinical psychologist, broadcaster & author. First published in the Irish Independent, to view original publication click here.
Does David’s challenge resonate with you? If you have started a new activity or routine, drop us a line and tell us about it (info@loveparenting.ie). The best ideas for parents come from parents. [...]
Kids Say – Let us Play!June 28, 2026Home Life / Homepage Display / playPhysical activity is a vital part of children’s health, according to Maura O’Sullivan-Ryan, Director of the National Certificate in Exercise & Fitness and Senior Facilitator on the Irish Heart Foundation’s Action for Life Programme in primary and secondary schools.
Did you know that physically active children have fewer chronic health problems than kids who are inactive? Children who develop good exercise habits early in life are more likely to be active as adults and active adults live longer. Active children and adults have a much lower risk of developing problems like high blood pressure, too much ‘bad’ cholesterol and risk of heart attack and stroke.
Physical activity also helps reduce risk of diabetes and cancer and bone disease. Not only that, but children who are active are more rounded as individuals. They’re better able to meet the demands of daily living – they socialise better, they generally do better at school, they feel better about themselves and have more self-confidence. It’s a natural instinct for children to be active but there are plenty of reasons why children’s activity levels fall. Television, computer games, DVDs, endless homework, busy parents, unsafe roads, a lack of playgrounds – they’re all obstacles to your child being more active.
Some parents find they are acting as unpaid taxis taking children to after-school activities, from soccer to swimming, boxing to basketball, camogie to dance … and that’s fantastic. But it is equally important to ensure that children build physical activity into everyday life, such as active play outdoors with friends, walking some of the way to school or the shops and taking part in PE at school. It’s all about getting back to basics, getting the balance right – lots of activity, sport and play, healthy eating, monitored TV/video game time, balanced study/homework and, last but not least, rest and sleep.
Maura O’Sullivan Ryan, Director, National Certificate in Exercise and Fitness
How much is enough? Children should be active for at least one hour every day. This may not necessarily happen in one session, but could be broken up into 15 minutes active play at school break, 30 minutes bike riding after school and 15 minutes dancing or playing soccer with friends in the evening.
A is for Active
Mum and Dad are the best motivators. Set a good example – introduce your kids to activity that’s fun. Take a bit of time at least one evening a week or at weekends when everyone is more relaxed – go walking, biking, dancing, swimming. Puck a sliotar, play badminton in the back garden or play tag in the local park.
Finding time can be difficult but concentrate on the positive aspects of exercise. It’s a chance for a family to be together, to share good times and fun.
Praise your children for taking part and for effort. Avoid too much competition – not everyone can win.
Encourage your child to be outdoors.
Encourage your child to be independent as young as possible – ask them to make their own bed, get themselves drinks, and tidy up after themselves.
Walk with your child to and from school, the shops or local video shop.
Limit the amount of time your child can spend watching TV and video games.
Support sport. Allow children to try out different sports so that they can develop a variety of skills and find activities that they like.
Taken from “Your Child’s Heart” magazine published by Irish heart Foundation (www.irishheart.ie) ‘The Irish Heart Foundation is the national charity fighting heart disease and stroke. We support, educate and train people to save lives, campaign for patients, promote positive health programmes, fund research and provide vital information. We need your support through donations, as a volunteer or on our training courses’
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Exam Stress: Parents must stay calm and confidentJune 10, 2026Homepage Display / TeenagersWith exams here, it’s important for anxious parents to find the balance between supporting their children’s efforts and nagging them to distraction.
The reality is that we parents often worry more about the work that needs to be done than our teenagers do.
We will all have certain expectations for how our teenagers should perform in their exams. When our expectations of how well they will do match with their expectations, then there is likely to be some level of harmony in the house.
Unfortunately, it is regularly the case that our expectations of how our teenagers will do don’t match their expectations. If our expectations are too high then they may choose to switch off because they feel they haven’t a hope of reaching those expectations.
If our expectations are too low then they may equally feel unmotivated because they believe nobody cares how they do in the exams.
Like in so many parenting situations, then, we must find balance — between what we expect and what is genuinely attainable for our son or daughter.
Research demonstrates a very clear link between the level of stress that we experience and our performance at different tasks. That research suggests that we need a little bit of stress to perform well.
How much stress is the right amount will vary from student to student. Because every person has their own tolerance for stress, some youngsters will be at their optimum when the deadline for the exams is virtually upon them and everyone’s expectations are high. Others need a much more low-key approach to avoid being overwhelmed.
Understanding what causes exam stress, and understanding how that stress impacts on your son or daughter, will help you to guide and support them in the final build-up to the start of June.
There are three main reasons why exams are stressful for teenagers. The first reason is that they can worry about something that is unknown. This is called an anticipatory anxiety.
When we don’t know what to expect we can create ideas, expectations and anticipations in our minds. Sometimes these might be positive, other times they may be negative. If they are negative then we can come to dread the anticipated event.
Failure
The second reason for exam stress is a fear of failure. If your expectations, or those of others, are very high then this can really pressure your son or daughter who will probably not want to disappoint you.
Equally, by the time of the Leaving Certificate many students have a clearer idea of what they want to do after school and so they are probably aiming to achieve a certain result for themselves to give them those college choices. This means that they might be putting undue pressure on themselves.
The third reason for exam stress is related to the volume of work to be covered. The curriculum can be vast and depending on how methodical students are (or have been!) in their preparation they can reach that point of feeling overwhelmed and under-prepared. Panic, at not getting the course covered or revised, can set in.
No matter what the source of the stress and anxiety the experience of it will be the same. Essentially, stress is a very physical experience. Adrenaline gets released when we get stressed and this puts our heart rate up, increases the rate of our breathing and leads to muscle tension or that feeling of a knotted-up stomach.
Once our bodies start feeling stressed, it will impact on our mood and our thinking and the whole experience becomes a bit circular. The more we worry the more stressed we feel.
Dealing with the anxiety can involve a number of approaches. Your first step is to try to help your teenager work out the source of their stress.
If it’s fear of failure, it may be possible to help them lower or clarify their expectations so that they feel more able to achieve what they then hope to get. Whatever about their own expectations it is really not helpful for you to put unnecessary pressure on them.
One powerful element that motivates teenagers to apply themselves is, as mentioned, their own internal desire to do well and to achieve. If your son or daughter doesn’t have a goal or a realistic plan for what they would like to do after school then it can be really hard to get stuck into study.
Encourage them to remember that they are studying because they want to achieve some (or all!) of their potential, not because anybody else is studying or not.
For some students, however ‘what’s the point?’ is often their refrain when you try to help them focus or (as they might see it) nag them to study.
The only real point that I can ever see is that education and exam results give them choices that they might not otherwise have. Because there is no tangible goal, however, even this may not be motivating.
So, contrary to what I said earlier, if your son or daughter has no internal motivation to apply themselves then I do recommend that you do your version of ‘nag’; if internal motivation is lacking then you have to provide some external motivation.
This means you might have to keep reminding them to study, to work, or to think ahead. Use your experience of the world to demonstrate to them that better results matter.
You may not necessarily get them to the peak of their potential but even if they take in a bit more knowledge before the exam it will stand them in good stead.
This is tough work for parents, and you will probably feel unappreciated for all of your efforts to motivate them, so mind yourself with some time off or some space to vent to friends or family.
Hopefully, however, your teenager sees some value in the exams and so then your aim is to make sure that they are as efficient as possible in their study techniques.
Attention span
We know that 20 minutes is about the maximum attention span of most adults. So it is realistic for your teenager to plan for a series of 15-minute study periods with a five-minute break after each 15 minutes studying. This way they will get a very focused 45 minutes of study in every hour.
If they stay at the subject for 15 minutes they can then reward themselves with checking their texts, updating their Facebook or whatever they want for the few minutes before launching off again.
Every five or six study periods they should take a longer break and make a cup of tea, or go for a quick walk or have a snack.
Suggest to them that they reward themselves at the end of a day studying too; perhaps by treating themselves to something nice like a bath, a good book, some uninterrupted time on the computer, TV or games console, a long phone call to a friend.
Exercise and diet are also really important to help them feel more in control of their anxiety and stress. This is the one area that parents can be very helpful as we can direct our energies, usefully, to minding our teenagers with cups of tea and wholesome food.
Eating well and regularly and getting outdoors or staying involved with sports will also counteract the negative physical effect of the stress and improve their mood.
Sleeping is also very important. Late-night studying doesn’t give the body a chance to recover and also makes it hard for the brain to switch off when they do go to bed.
State exams are a big deal and because of that they will probably lead to an appropriate and understandable amount of anxiety amongst our teenagers. The most important thing we can do is to avoid panicking ourselves.
If we seem grounded and confident it will go a long way to helping them to stay calm and on track.
This piece was written by David Coleman, clinical psychologist, broadcaster & author. First published in the Irish Independent, to view original publication click here. [...]
Staying Calm when Your Teen Gets AngryMay 18, 2026Homepage Display / Teenagers“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret”- Ambrose Bierce. Sound familiar? Do encounters with your raging teen often leave you with feelings of regret, frustration and helplessness? If they do then you are part of the majority of parents. If they don’t, enjoy the fact and can I suggest maybe you write the next best-selling parenting book. Before we can look at a better way of responding to your teen’s anger it is important to have a better understanding of anger in general (theirs and yours).
What is anger? The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as a “strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility”. So it is a feeling. In our teenage children especially, we tend to see that feeling manifest itself in a behaviour- shouting, cursing, slamming doors, breaking things and even violence. So what causes anger? It has often been said that anger is actually a secondary emotion. It is really important to understand what this means, as it holds the key to diffusing it. To understand what a secondary feeling is we must first understand what a primary feeling is. A primary feeling is a feeling that we feel immediately after an external event or internal thought occurs. For example somebody compliments your friend’s clothes and doesn’t say anything to you. The primary feeling here may be disappointment, embarrassment, shame, self-loathing or sadness. A secondary feeling, like anger, is used automatically in most cases to protect ourselves or disguise the primary feeling (which often we believe makes us weak or vulnerable). It’s just like school. First comes primary and then secondary. So maybe in this case we replace the primary feeling of embarrassment with a secondary emotion of anger. Can you imagine skipping primary school and jumping straight to secondary? The resulting behaviour in our example is to snap at our friend “come on we’ve got to go”. The diagram below represents anger as an iceberg with the secondary emotion showing on the surface and the underlying primary feeling hidden below the surface.
The other thing that is often said about anger is that it is a response to a perceived threat or someone else’s intention. The threat to us or their intention may not be real and may just be in your head but if you believe there is a threat or their intention is negative, anger can rear its head. For example-you are late for work. The car in front of you is going 20km per hour under the speed limit. You flash your lights, honk the horn and curse the driver. Why? Because you perceive this driver is a threat to you being on time. Or the driver (who you don’t even know) is driving slow just to annoy you (as irrational as that is).
If we look at these two pieces of information it can help us formulate a response to anger that may eventually result in better outcomes. Firstly, anger is a secondary emotion. If your teen comes home angry, stop and take a breath before you react. That breath can reset your automatic way of responding. Understand that anger is masking their true emotion and is protecting them from having to deal with that real vulnerable feeling. We have all learnt that anger keeps people at arms length. If people are at arms length they can’t ask questions and make us deal with the primary feeling. By meeting their anger with your anger-hey presto- the primary feeling gets ignored. So now anger becomes a strategy that works. If it works why would they stop using it?
If you are aware of an incident that may be at the root of this anger it is easier explore the real primary feeling with your teen. For example, you get a call from their school to say your teen was suspended for cheating in an exam. You can then help them identify what the real emotion they are feeling is- “I know what happened at school. You must be feeling a little ashamed or guilty. Do you want to talk about it?” By naming some emotions and offering to talk to them about how they are feeling you are helping them gain some emotional intelligence.
If you don’t know what the specific incident is that triggered their anger you can just ask if they would like to talk about what happened. This will be a welcome change to a response like “What’s got into you. You nearly took the door off the hinges”. This will always escalate their anger, which will escalate yours and there will inevitably be a big bust up. And what happens to the real issue and primary feeling? It gets ignored and the teen learns anger is their best friend to keep mum and dad at a distance, allowing them to not deal with their real feelings. Chances are, any offers to talk about the real issue will be rejected. But that’s ok. The timing may not be right. You can make the offer again at a later point. Even if it is rejected again you have shown them that anger will not distract you from supporting them to get to the bottom of their real feelings. That means their strategy is not working. If it’s not working why would they continue to use it? By the way, when I say strategy, I don’t mean they are consciously plotting to use anger as a strategy to keep you away. This happens in the sub-conscious mind. The more times it works the stronger that strategy is endorsed in the sub-conscious mind. Persist. Persist. Persist with this. It won’t happen overnight. The more often you offer to help them identify and deal with their true primary feelings the more anger will become less of an option. You can also educate them about their real primary feelings by verbalising yours. When you feel angry, stop and breathe and ask yourself what your primary feeling is? Then verbalise it. So instead of raging “I’m so angry at you for staying out an hour after your curfew” you could instead (after some self-analysis) say “I am feeling a bit disappointed that you abused my trust by staying out too late”. Not only will this lessen the chances of a row but it also is educating them about emotions.
Secondly, anger is a reaction to a perceived threat or negative intention by the other person. This is an interesting thought. Knowing this can help us reflect on whether something we have done or said has sent out a perceived threat or a negative intention to our teen. I have often come across cases where a parent has made a comment during an argument, sometimes in jest, which has escalated the teen’s anger rapidly. When they have reflected on the encounter they have realised that their comment or actions made the teen feel threatened and so the anger escalated. I remember one particular parent whose daughter had been in care for a period of time when she was a young teenager due to her mum’s addiction issues. Now as a 17 year old she was back living with mum. In the middle of a silly argument about chores her mum passes a comment like “Pick up after yourself or I’ll put you back in care”. The daughter went berserk. The mum thought it was a tantrum over the chores. She had made the comment in jest and was totally unaware that her daughter still had unresolved feelings about being in care. This could have been perceived as a threat to the daughter’s liberty or as an intention by her mother to hurt her. But let’s say the mother was delirious and out of her mind with a fever and said the same thing. Would the daughter have reacted the same? Probably not. She would have viewed it differently and not perceived it as a threat or negative intention.
This is an extreme example but parents can often say or do things that threaten a teen’s independence, self-esteem, identity, need to belong or need for security. By being more aware of this it can help parents take more responsibility for things they may have done or said to make the teen feel threatened. Sometimes these perceived feelings of threat are unavoidable. For example curfews, rules etc… But if you are aware of how these are making the teen feel you can have a discussion where you can explain your position, acknowledge their feelings, negotiate if appropriate and remind them that they can always have a mature conversation with you. In cases where your actions have caused feelings of threat and that was avoidable (e.g.-mocking their clothes and thus threatening their self-image) acknowledge that you did not intend to make them feel bad and apologise. Apologising is not a weakness. In fact it reminds them that you are human too and fallible but that mature people take responsibility and look to rectify their mistakes. Nice lesson for them to learn. This can also help us to examine why we are triggered by things our teens do. Ask yourself- what is it about what they have done or said that has made me perceive a threat or think that their intentions towards me are negative. Can I change how I perceive the situation? Interesting isn’t it?
To conclude, I would like to leave you with a thought about the importance of persistence in not reacting to anger with more anger. I meet lots of parents who learn strategies in parenting programmes, go home enthusiastically with the best of intentions, get impatient when they don’t work in a week or two and return to old behaviours in utter frustration. It’s understandable. We live in a world where instant results are expected. I always say that it has taken your teen years and years to learn to use anger as a strategy or coping mechanism. It is unrealistic to expect results straight away.
Sometimes things will get worse. This is normal. Why? It is known as the “extinction burst” theory. When someone experiences change (you not reacting to their anger with anger) they can escalate their behaviour (get angrier). This is done to try and force the other person into giving up and returning to the old behaviour that they are more comfortable with (angry reaction so they don’t have to examine their true vulnerable feeling). Think of it like waiting for a lift at the top stiorey of a car park. There is no sign of it arriving and so you press the button harder and more frequently (like teen may react by getting angrier). Eventually when there is still no sign of the lift arriving, what do you do? You stop pressing the button altogether and take the stairs instead as an alternative (teen alters their behaviour as they are not seeing the desired results). So when they get angry. Stop. Breathe. Notice how you are feeling. Breathe again. Now think about what’s really going on with the teen and react in a way that helps them explore for themselves what is happening internally. And remember that image of the lift. If you don’t let your teen “press your buttons” they will give up and in the end become more emotionally intelligent.
“The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with them from the heart.” ― Rasheed Ogunlaru
Alan Quinn is the Mentoring Co-Ordinator with Le Chéile Mentoring and Youth Justice Support Services in Limerick. Le Chéile work with Young Person Probation service users and their families. As well as the core mentoring work Le Chéile run a range of parenting programmes and family support interventions.www.lecheile.ie.
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Healthy Eating for Kids: It’s not a warMay 4, 2026Homepage Display / Tips on Healthy EatingMany young children go through phases of being faddy or fussy eaters. It’s often an attempt to get attention and escalates at the same pace as your anxiety! Don’t panic, as even limited diets for a few weeks can deliver all the nutrients your child needs. A varied diet can be achieved over the course of a day or even a week. Time, encouragement and patience (yours, mostly) will produce gradual but significant improvements.
Shopping
Only buy the foods you want them to eat. If favourite foods are not in the house, over time they will eat what’s available.
Encourage your child to help with shopping and preparing meals.
Food
Food should not be a reward for good behaviour or a punishment for bad. It’s not a substitute for time and attention nor a pacifier to calm an angry, tired or bored child. Healthy snacks are important for children as they
have small stomachs and need small frequent meals. Avoid filling them up with sugary, fizzy drinks before a meal.
When they come in from school, have a bowl of low-sugar and non-chocolate flavoured cereal and milk or a slice of brown bread or a soft roll
with mashed banana available. These handy healthy snacks will keep them going until dinnertime.
Children love finger food. Sticks of raw carrot, slices of apple or any fruit that they like; cherry or halved tomatoes are a good way to get them to eat fruit and vegetables and may be preferred than cooked vegetables.
So your child won’t eat fruit and veg?
Try…
Blending vegetables into soups, stews, pasta sauces
Stewed fruit in yogurt
Mashed cauliflower or turnip in mashed potato
Tin of tomatoes in mince meat
Roast parsnip with roast potatoes or wedges
Freezing orange juice in ice cube containers with a cocktail stick
Frozen vegetables, such as carrots, peas and sweetcorn mixture – they contain all the nutrients of fresh vegetables and provide great colour
Extra topping on pizza such as mandarin, pineapple or mushroom.
Mealtimes
Try to eat together as a family as often as possible and lavish praise if your child tries something new.
Avoid making mealtimes a power struggle. If you battle over your child’s eating, he/she will stop eating to demonstrate his/her willpower.
Avoid negotiating with your child about food choices e.g. ‘Will you eat eggs?’ If your child doesn’t like boiled eggs, try them scrambled or in an omelette with different fillings.
Never say: ‘If you finish your dinner, you can have some biscuits/sweets’. This encourages the notion that the main course is something to be endured while sweets are the ‘prize’ worth waiting for.
It’s got a name! Food neophobia is an unwillingness to try new foods. If your child is afraid to try, say, chicken, keep offering it to him, either cooked or presented in different ways, so that he gets over his fear of it. If he doesn’t eat it the first time or the fifth time, don’t panic. It can take up to 10 tries before a child will try something new.
If your child refuses to eat, accept it with more grace than you feel! Remove his plate but do not offer a replacement food until the next mealtime.
Keep portions small or buy smaller dinner plates so that the amount of food on offer isn’t intimidating.
Invite a friend – with a good appetite – for dinner and offer the same food to both. Your child may be more tempted to eat whatever his friend is eating.
Encourage your child to realise when they are full. This may mean not telling them to always clear their plate. This is important as they may lose their natural ability to regulate their appetite and not recognise when they’re full.
This can lead to eating a little more than needed at every meal, which over time leads to overweight.
Colourful pictures with food appeal to children
Smiley face pictures – cut out ham shapes as eyes, nose and mouth on a child’s mini pizza.
Vegetable shapes on a round slice of chicken, turkey/ ham or cheese – for example cucumber rings as eyes, raw carrot triangle as nose and tomato wedge as mouth.
Shapes like boats and castles are also easy to make – and they can be very simple shapes – just call them a boat / castle and children’s imaginations will do the rest!
Mention the current popular children’s character and how they love this food – and see what happens!
Food is emotional
Good nutrition is not just about putting food on the table, it is a very complex and emotional topic. If you are faced daily with a child who will not accept the nutritious food you are so willing to give them, you will feel frustrated, stressed and powerless.
Toddlers do go through a stage of development where power struggles rule the day – not called the terrible 2’s for nothing! For example, today, little Johnny will only eat wheat cereal and juice; tomorrow, it may be something different, or he may stick with his cereal and juice for weeks.
While the habits of fussy eating usually appear in the pre-school years, some children will continue to pose challenges in terms of their eating habits well beyond the pre-school years.
The general advice of keeping mealtimes relaxed is very good advice.
While it is important that your child does try new foods, parents of a faddy eater have to be very careful not to get too obsessed by this. (To ensure that key nutrients are included refer to the section across for ideas)
It’s a good idea to look at and list all the foods your child will eat, which is usually more than you think, and develop menu plans around these.
Another area that can affect eating habits is the child’s senses. When it comes to food, some children will look for very strong-tasting food and will really enjoy spicy foods, other children will like very bland foods.
The texture of the food is also another factor – one child may enjoy crunchy, chewy food while another will much prefer smooth, almost puréed, food. Parents will have to adjust what they offer their child based on these preferences.
Anne O’ Connor Child Clinical Psychologist www.rollercoaster.ie, parenting website.
Taken from “Your Child’s Heart” magazine published by Irish heart Foundation (www.irishheart.ie) ‘The Irish Heart Foundation is the national charity fighting heart disease and stroke. We support, educate and train people to save lives, campaign for patients, promote positive health programmes, fund research and provide vital information. We need your support through donations, as a volunteer or on our training courses’ [...]
Baking: Feed their Imaginations (and their stomachs)May 4, 2026Homepage Display / RecipesCookie Recipe
Want a perfect rainy day activity with your child? One that encourages their creativity, provides plenty of opportunities for conversation, teaches them a very useful life skill and results in something delicious to eat for all the family? Get them baking!
And before you think: but I haven’t a clue how to bake myself, the good news is that anyone can whip up a batch of cookies. They’re the simplest things in the world to make – all you need are three ingredients; sugar, butter and plain flour. And no special equipment either, just a few cookie cutters (available anyplace that sells kitchen stuff), a mixing bowl, an electric beater, a rolling pin (or empty bottle), a baking tray and plenty of hot water for the cleaning up.
And cookies can be so versatile – you can make stars and flowers to bring as a gift to an elderly neighbour, or gingerbread men for your child’s birthday party, or letters that spell out the names of everyone in the family – let your imagination run wild! (But maybe start with a simple round cutter, until your child can use it confidently, and has practice in lifting the dough shapes from the work surface to the baking tray.)
So clear a space on the table or a worktop, wash your hands, roll up your sleeves, pop on your aprons and you’re good to go.
Cookie dough:
2 oz icing sugar
4 oz soft butter
5 oz plain flour
Preheat the oven to gas 2/150C.
Beat butter and sugar together in a food processor or bowl. (If your child is old enough, he or she could help here – if they’re still a bit young, let them taste the beaten mix and give a verdict!)
Stir in the flour slowly with a wooden spoon until it’s well mixed in (once you’ve mixed about half in, you can hand over to your child to finish the job).
Form the dough into a ball with your hands, (or split it in half and let your child form his or her own ball) wrap in clingfilm and chill in the fridge for about twenty minutes. (Good chance to do the washing up here!)
Scatter a good handful of flour onto a clean surface (worktop, table, large chopping board) and roll out the ball with a rolling pin or empty bottle until it’s about the thickness of a magazine. Again, if your child is able, get them to roll out their own ball – mini wooden or plastic rolling pins are often sold in kitchen shops.
Get your cutters and off you go. Dip the cutting side of the cutter into a saucer of flour before every use, to avoid it sticking to the dough. Push it into the dough, give a tiny wiggle, and lift up slowly. (It might take a bit of practice to get this right, so take it nice and slow.)
Remove the leftover dough from around the shapes before lifting them carefully onto the baking tray with whatever you use to flip things over on the pan. No need to space them out; they don’t grow bigger as they bake. Gather the scraps together into another ball (or two), roll out again and cut again. If you’re making gingerbread men, push in raisins for eyes and buttons when they’re on the baking trays.
Bake until pale golden, about 10 or 12 minutes.
Leave on the baking trays for a minute or two until they firm up a bit, then lift carefully onto a wire rack to finish cooling.
If you want to decorate them, get a set of ‘writing icing’ tubes in the home baking section of your supermarket and let your child draw on stripes or whatever, but they’re also delicious just as they are.
And if you want to be really adventurous, add a TINY drop of food colouring to the mixture when you’re mixing the butter and sugar together at the start.
Of course, you don’t have to stop at cookies – and sometimes you don’t even have to use your oven! There are some wonderful cookbooks out there, specially written with little chefs in mind that include sweet and savoury dishes, and some, like chocolate biscuit cake or top hats (melted cooking chocolate poured into bun cases and topped with a marshmallow and set in the fridge), that need hardly any cooking at all. Check your local bookshop or library, and see what’s on offer. After all, who knows – you might have a future Donal Skehan or Rachel Allen in your household!
Baking or cooking anything, even if it doesn’t turn out perfectly, is a wonderfully rewarding experience for any child. It comes complete with a sense of satisfaction in creating something new. It also teaches patience and discipline (no eating until the clean up is done!) and introduces them to the fascinating science of cooking or baking. And best of all, it will give you a chance to have some relaxed quality time together.
Bon apetit!
Roisin Meaney worked as a primary school teacher for seventeen years before giving it up to write full time. To date she is the author of ten adult novels and two children’s books. On the first Saturday of every month she tells stories to small children in Limerick’s main library at The Granary, passing on her love of books and reading to the next generation.
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Top Tips for Messy PlayApril 27, 2026Homepage Display / playMessy play doesn’t have to be expensive. Standard kitchen cupboard items such as dried pasta, rice, dried beans and pulses, split peas or porridge oats are an easy way to start on messy play – however, parental supervision will be required. Old wooden spoons, colanders, plastic cups and bowls make great tools to explore these new materials. Older children will enjoy glitter, sequins, scented essential oils or food colouring. Parents who work in an office can use the leftovers from the shredding bin, and hide small objects among the paper.
Get more adventurous: cooked and dyed pasta, whipped cream, home-made play dough, shaving foam, gloop (semi-solid mixture of water and cornflour) and slime are all great for messy play. Easy to follow recipes can be found online.
Outdoor play is messy play: make mud pies and potions, jump in puddles, collect leaves and plant flowers. Ignore the gardening gloves – let your child feel the world and the earth around them.
Theming messy play around holidays or calendar events. Dye dried rice yellow at Easter time, or hide small plastic or chocolate eggs amongst the rice. For a Christmas theme, use red glitter slime, or green and red dyed cooked pasta. Freeze left over beans or pasta in a little water, and let your child engage with colder objects and watch the ice melt.
Setting limits: Messy play, as the name suggests, can get messy! Oil clothes are a great way to contain messy play activities. Work with your child to set boundaries. Learning to tolerate and accept limits during messy play can be a fun experience for you both! [...]
How to Support Your Children to have a Happy ChildhoodApril 16, 2026Health & Welbeing / Homepage DisplayHappiness means something different to each person but to Allen K. Chalmers, it means ‘Having something to do, something to love and something to hope for.’ That is something you can offer your child.
Paul Martin, a behavioural biologist who wrote the wonderful book Making Happy People reminds us that the foundations of happiness are laid in childhood and that parents play a vital role in creating an environment for this to happen. The American psychologist and author, Prof Martin Seligman, reminds us that happiness lies in the ‘good life’, not in the ‘pleasant life’. The ‘pleasant life’, says Seligman, is about immediate gratification, a hedonistic existence and limitless access to material wealth and possessions. A ‘good life’, however, is about engaging in worthwhile, meaningful activities that can bring both pleasure and pain. Examples of this are training for a marathon, studying for a degree, taking care of an ill person, raising a child, and so on. Happiness is not about the pursuit of pleasure and the absence of pain. A never-ending supply of good and easy treats and experiences is not going to teach your child to develop the art of finding happiness.
One of the most important things you can teach your child is that having a lot of money doesn’t buy happiness. Being economically deprived also doesn’t bring happiness though. Poverty is a real happiness-killer. Enough money – but not too much – puts people in a position where they are more likely to find happiness.
Learning and cultivating a skill (for example, on the sportsfield, the art-room or the stage) is more likely to bring about happiness than spending time watching TV, playing computer games and eating sweets. But pressurizing kids – Tiger-mother style – to excel at something that they are not keen on doing is counter-productive. Each child is unique, and so different things make different children happy. As a parent, it is essential that you get to know your child and that you don’t expect her to be something she isn’t. See the child she is, and learn from her what brings joy and satisfaction to her life.
Looking at a wide range of research on happiness, Paul Martin has noted some of the key personal qualities of happy people, and these have their roots in childhood. Most importantly, happy people have good social and communication skills and they are ‘emotionally literate’ (they can easily talk about their feelings). Happy people get on with others. They are more empathic, co-operative, generous and sociable. They have positive, close relationships with others. These skills are developed in childhood and you can help cultivate them in your children by encouraging good friendships with their peers and by developing a positive, secure relationship with your kids.
Tips for parents to help create a happy childhood for your kids
Talk to your kids
Spend time with them
Play together and encourage them to play with others
Allow space and time for free play
Don’t overschedule your children or keep them so busy that they have no time to play
Develop a sincere connection (bond) with your kids
Have fun with your kids
Encourage deep and lasting friendships with their peers
Nurture your own friendships and relationships so that your kids learn by example
Teach your kids to be grateful for and satisfied with what they have
Don’t give your kids everything they want
Encourage your kids to put the time and energy into learning and developing a skill
Limit computer, TV and screen time
Encourage creativity and free play
Aim to improve your children’s self-esteem
Teach your children how to value themselves
See a child psychotherapist or ask someone trusted for help if you believe that your child is not happy
Provided by Jenny Perkel “Children in Mind” Website
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Putting the Spring into your Easter BreakMarch 24, 2026Home Life / Homepage DisplayThe Easter midterm is looming and children are on the countdown to two school free weeks. Along with the fact that most shops now look like miniature versions of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, can present a challenger for parents. While a break in routine usually means that the pace slows down a little, it can also add other stressors such as childcare. Perhaps the biggest issue of all is that new phenomenon; ‘must keep the children entertained all of the time’.
Holidays from school used to mean staying in pyjamas until lunch time, playing in your own garden and looking forward to more chocolate treats than you were usually allowed. Today, those holidays are quite different. Easter camps provide a solution to childcare issues and ensure that your child won’t encounter the one thing we seem to have become so afraid of – boredom. There can be a tendency to shuttle children from one activity to another and, as a result, their time for free play has been significantly reduced. Here’s a typical scenario for me that will resonate with most parents: You’re driving home in the car with your child, having just picked him up from his weekly swimming lesson. He asks what you’re having for dinner and you realise you have yet to even think about that so you tell him that he can watch TV or use the I-pad when you get home, while you prepare something. I realise (too late) that I could have done that differently. Instead of suggesting an activity to him that would put us both in separate rooms, I could have suggested that he could help me make dinner. In addition to giving him some responsibility and teaching him life skills, it would allow me time and space to find out about the highs and lows of his day. Sometimes we’re so eager to keep them occupied, we forget to let our children ‘just be’.
Over the Easter break, there are plenty of ways to connect with your child that don’t require planning (I never remember to look into camps until they are fully booked!), money or gadgetry. For younger children, painting eggs and organising a hunt around the garden always goes down a treat. With longer evenings and better weather, walks in the woods, picnics or a family cycle or walk on the new canal pathway brings that lovely balance of being outdoors and spending time together. You might even encounter real rabbits and chicks, which would be a very welcome break from the chocolate variety! [...]
Parade Time; St. Patrick’s Day PlansMarch 12, 2026Homepage Display / Quality TimeIn Ireland, the St. Patrick’s Day parade is imprinted as deeply on our memories of childhood festivities and celebrations almost as much as Christmas. Whether we had to wear tricolour jumpers knitted by our grannies or proudly display our harp badges, there was an inevitable excitement about the parade. Having a day off school also lent a certain positivity to the day. Like all holidays, St. Patrick’s Day seems to get bigger every year, particularly among advertisers. Most of the high street shops sell green, shamrock-covered clothes and accessories and certain fast food chains bring out a green milkshake for its annual appearance. The parade then becomes more about the buying than the celebration, material things over experiences. So this year, as parents, let’s make an effort to really make the day a family event that will generate happy memories for years to come.
In the lead up to the day, you could encourage your child to make her own banner, flag or t-shirt. In addition to being an activity that you can both enjoy together, it will also teach your child that things don’t always have to be disposable. Sure, they could buy a flag at the parade- which will probably be binned pretty soon afterwards- or you sew or paint one together that could be displayed somewhere at home later. It also provides a lesson on recycling, which is ‘going green’ in its truest sense!
The City Centre becomes incredibly crowded on St. Patrick’s Day, which can cause a little anxiety. With younger children, you could turn the annoyance of picking your viewing spot into a game. For example, agree beforehand that you will turn left every time you see someone with dyed green hair and see where you end up. They’ll be happily distracted and you can move through a crowd quicker. Keep safety in mind as well. With older children, agree ‘safe spots’ in advance so, in the event of being separated, you all go immediately to that spot.
Fast food restaurants tend to be over-crowded after the parade, with long queues and waiting times. If you prepare a small picnic that morning, you can head to one of the city centre parks, sit on your homemade flags and enjoy a hassle-free and healthier lunch. Your own green smoothies or milkshakes will taste a lot better when you haven’t had to stand in line for an hour to get them!
If you think the crowds will be too much for your little ones, you can always embrace the celebrations and community spirit at your local parade as St. Patrick’s Day festivities take to the streets in towns and villages throughout County Limerick. 10 county parades are taking place this year in Abbeyfeale, Adare, Askeaton, Ballylanders, Bruff, Castleconnell, Kilfinance, Kilmallock, Mountcollins and Rathkeale.
For more information about St Patrick’s Weekend in Limerick, including the parade route, the county parade start times and family fund events over the weekend, go to www.limerick.ie/stpatricksfestival
This article was contributed by a member of Limerick. Parenting Limerick is a network of parenting and family support organisations. [...]
Top tips for ‘sleepover’ territoryMarch 4, 2026Homepage Display / Middle ChildhoodFrom around the age of five or six, children can become quite obsessed with the idea of sleepovers. It’s the fantasy of late nights in a different house with their best friend, coupled with a sudden sense of being independent. There are a few tips that might make talking about / preparing for sleepovers easier:
· Remember that YOU are in charge. If you are uncomfortable with your child not being at home for a night, explain to them that it is something they can do when they are older.
· Don’t let your fear of upsetting your child outweigh your own feeling of discomfort – if you don’t want them staying overnight at a friend’s house, then they don’t do it.
· If you are happy to let them stay over, help them to prepare. Remind them that their nightly routine (brushing teeth, going to the loo before bed etc.) will still happen, just in a different house.
· Reassure your child that they can call you at any stage in the night if they are upset or scared and make sure that same message comes from the parents having them over.
· Be prepared for crankiness the next day, because of a late night and early morning.
· Try to keep sleepovers to a minimum so that they are a treat and so disruption to your child’s sleeping pattern doesn’t become a regular event. [...]
Understanding NeurodiversityFebruary 25, 2026AbilityAs parents, we often compare our children to others, for example, milestones, behaviour, school progress, friendships. But what happens when your child experiences the world differently? When routines feel like they are essential, emotions seem bigger, or sensory experiences feel overwhelming?
For many families, this can lead to confusion, worry, and sometimes self-doubt. Parents may sometimes wonder: Am I doing something wrong? or Why is this so hard?
It is important for parents with similar experiences to know that they are not alone or doing anything wrong.
Neurodivergence is a term used to describe the natural differences in how the brain works. It includes conditions such as autism (ASD), ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and other developmental differences. However, instead of seeing these differences as deficits, the neuro-affirmative perspective encourages us to recognise both challenges and strengths that come with these differences.
Children who are neurodivergent may communicate, learn, socialise, or regulate their emotions in ways that differ from societal norms. It is important to recognise that this doesn’t mean something is “broken.” It simply means their brain processes the world differently.
For example, autistic children may prefer routines because predictability helps to reduce anxiety. They may experience sensory input such as noise, textures, lights more intensely or may be under sensitive to them. Some may communicate verbally, while others may depend on gestures or visual supports to communicate. Social situations may also feel challenging as some autistic children find it difficult to understand social cues and rules. However, it is important to note that autistic children often do want connection and friendships, even if they find social situations confusing or exhausting.
Children with ADHD, on the other hand, may struggle with attention, organisation, and impulse control. Parents might notice difficulties with homework, transitions, bedtime routines, or emotional outbursts. What many parents may not realise is that behaviours that look like “not listening,” “laziness,” or “defiance” are often linked to differences in the brain that affect regulation, attention, or sensory processing. Reframing these behaviours from “my child won’t” to “can’t yet” can transform how we respond to our children and how they see themselves.
Another key message is the importance of protecting self-esteem. Neurodivergent children often receive more correction than their peers, which can affect their confidence over time. Noticing their effort, celebrating their small wins, and avoiding shame-based language can make a significant difference.
Practical strategies can also be helpful supports. Using visual schedules, breaking tasks into smaller steps, preparing children for changes in advance, and supporting emotional regulation through calm connection are all approaches that can reduce stress for both the parent and child.
As with parenting any child, parenting a neurodivergent child can be deeply meaningful, while also bringing moments that feel intense, demanding, or overwhelming. Having the right information and support can make a significant difference.
This article was written by Diekololaoluwa Amujo, Psychology Assistant with the HSE Primary Care Child and Family Service, Limerick. This service is a member of Parenting Limerick. [...]
Reasonable expectations: Your key parenting toolFebruary 25, 2026Home Life / Homepage DisplayParenting comes with its more-than-fair share of worrying. Are my children eating healthily? Should I be worried that my teenager has stopped talking to me? Do my children know just how much they are loved? The list is endless. What is really important is knowing the difference between what you, as a parent, can control and what you can’t. The key to this is trying to keep your expectations within reasonable boundaries.
Take babies, for example. They need nourishment and nurturing so we need to keep them fed, warm, clean and loved. Sometimes though, between the images we are swamped with on social media and marketing campaigns that equate bigger spends with better parenting, we lose sight of how basic those needs are. ‘Baby essentials’ seem to include monitor alarms that can work in space and bath toys that will increase your baby’s IQ. We all get caught up in it! The trick is to stand back and think about what suits you, your parenting style and your budget. Work within that framework and you will be meeting the most important expectations – your own. Interrupted sleep and a whole new routine are enough to get your head around. Don’t waste precious energy worrying that you forgot to take a photo of your baby beside his one month milestone card. Parenting happens outside and beyond those Instagram moments.
Try to apply the concept of reasonable expectations to the majority of your parenting tasks. This is particularly relevant if you have more than one child. Ever notice how frustrated you get when your second child doesn’t do the same thing your first did at a particular age? ‘I can’t understand it, his older brother was trained a year at this stage’ or ‘your sister’s room is always tidy, why is yours always a mess?’ Bear in mind that your children are individuals, each with their own way of feeling and behaving. If you set standard expectations, you are only increasing your own stress levels. You can’t make something happen just by willing it so take the time to explain to your child why you are asking them to do something. If trying to talk to your teenager ends up in rows, explain to them that your job is to make sure they are safe and happy. You may only get a grunt in return but it’s more than you started with!
Parenting is a daily learning process and it’s all about trial and error. The trick is managing your expectations and celebrating the little wins along the way.
This article was contributed by a member of Parenting Limerick. [...]
Sensory NeedsFebruary 23, 2026Home Life / Homepage DisplayMany parents will recognise the moment when their child covers their ears in a noisy shop, refuses certain clothes, or seems unable to sit still. These moments can be worrying or frustrating, particularly when it’s hard to understand what’s driving the behaviour. Often, though, these reactions are linked to how a child processes sensory information.
Sensory processing is simply the way the brain makes sense of what is happening around and inside us. Along with the well-known senses such as sight, sound and touch, children also rely on internal systems that help with balance, movement and body awareness. When these systems are working differently, everyday experiences can feel overwhelming or, at times, not stimulating enough.
Some children are particularly sensitive to sensory input. They may find bright lights, loud noises or certain food textures difficult to tolerate. Other children seem to need more sensory input and are constantly moving, touching or seeking activity. Many children move between these two patterns depending on the situation, their energy levels, or how their day has been going.
Sensory needs are closely connected to emotions and behaviour. When a child becomes upset or dysregulated, it is rarely “out of the blue”. More often, something in their environment or in their body has become too much. When parents begin to look at behaviour as a form of communication, it can change how these moments feel. Instead of asking, “How do I stop this?”, it can help to ask, “What might my child be struggling with right now?”
There are lots of practical ways parents can support sensory regulation at home. Activities that involve pushing, pulling or carrying can be especially helpful in helping children feel more settled. This might include carrying shopping bags, helping with gardening, doing animal walks, or moving toys or books. Regular movement, outdoor play and chances to burn off energy can also make a big difference to mood and attention.
Routine and predictability are just as important. Clear daily structures help children know what to expect and reduce anxiety. Small changes, such as lowering background noise, limiting clutter, or creating a quiet space where a child can take a break, can help prevent overwhelm before it builds.
Parents also play a key role in helping children manage big emotions. Children learn how to regulate themselves by watching the adults around them. Staying calm, getting down to your child’s level, using simple language and naming feelings can help a child feel understood and supported in difficult moments.
Finally, it’s worth remembering that supporting a child’s sensory needs can be tiring. Parents need care and support too. Looking after your own wellbeing is not selfish — it helps you stay regulated and better able to support your child. With patience, understanding and a few practical adjustments, families can create environments where children feel calmer, safer and more confident in everyday life.
This article was written by Claire Bennett, Psychology Assistant with the HSE Primary Care Child and Family Service, Limerick. This service is a member of Parenting Limerick. [...]
Up Snakes and Down Ladders!February 20, 2026Homepage Display / Quality TimeIt might surprise you to know that playing board games provide numerous benefits for our children. Board games make learning fun because children don’t even realise they are learning. Younger children can learn about colours, shapes, patterns, and maths and as many games involve moving pieces around the board, hand eye coordination benefits too. Patience, waiting, turn taking and team work are all skills that children get to practice and master playing board games. Language develops, not just from the vocabulary and spelling involved in the game but from reading the instructions or game cards and more importantly from the chats we have while playing together. Who knew spelling could be fun? Try a game of Scrabble with your children and see how learning and fun fit snuggly together.
For older children we know strategy games have a positive impact on the development of the frontal lobe of their brains. Playing games improves memory, cognitive and communication skills. The planning, organising, remembering information, strategic thinking, problem solving and decision making involved in games are skills that can be applied throughout life. Children gain information about real life from games that involve factual information. They get insight into how other people think or see the world.
Playing games together gives parents the opportunity to model, coach and encourage the social skills and behaviours that will make everyday life easier and have a benefit throughout your child’s life. Notice and praise the behaviours you want to see more of such as staying calm when frustrated and waiting patiently.
Board games can help children to get along better as they have structure and rules. Structured games can be an asset for children that have difficulty playing with or beside another child. Everyone has a turn and generally there is a specific way to do things. But remember games are fun and you can shake thing up by changing some of the rules. Our family always played Up Snakes and Down Ladders because there was a long snake’s head at 99 and no one wanted to almost win and land right back at the bottom of the board. Children under the age of 7 years are not developmentally ready to understand game rules so keep it simple when young children are playing.
Although games by their nature are competitive, board games also require us to cooperate and this builds a sense of connection that brings families together. As you play, you chat, share ideas and opinions and build family bonds. Often things get discussed and decided that may have proven difficult in other family settings. All players are equal and parents are not in charge so children get to see their parents in a new light creating a different balance. Playing together creates a relaxed fun atmosphere that encourages communication and builds trust that lasts beyond the end of the game. The fun we have together laughing and joking causes our bodies to release chemicals known as endorphins, the happy hormones that lowers our blood pressure and reduces stress. Research tells us that positive feelings and thoughts can boost our immune system which is something we all really need at the moment.
Avoiding interruptions and having no screens, TV or phones can help keep all of us focused on the game! Sticking with it until the end lengthens children’s attention span and they learn to stay at things that are enjoyable but can also be difficult and disappointing. If children are not used to playing board games start small with short, easy games. Save the ones that can go on longer, like Monopoly, until you have all adjusted to playing together. Monopoly, one of my childhood regulars gave great enjoyment but also caused some family disagreement because my brother, always the banker, embezzled! Interestingly, he became an accountant so perhaps playing a financial based game contributed to his adult career. This Christmas, like many other families, we were apart so I sent him the Limerick version of Monopoly as a reminder of past family times. Although I did include a note for my nephew suggesting they never allow Dad to be the banker!
Some children and even some adults have difficulty loosing! Games help you coach your child’s coping skills and their ability to manage their disappointment when things don’t go their way. Be careful not to fall into the trap of always letting your child win. They soon see through this and it denies them the chance to learn from small failures. Better to praise their efforts and help them learn ways to succeed the next time you play. Encourage them to congratulate the winner and praise their efforts bearing in mind that loosing is a skill we all struggle with.
Remember most games benefit from the occasional treat. Bringing some sharing food to the table is enjoyable and helps limit distractions. Popcorn or a pizza to share fit the bill nicely. Consider setting a regular slot for your family game night making it a ritual and giving you all the chance to share each other’s company. Playing board games together is fun and can have a positive impact on the wellbeing of your entire family.
This article was contributed by Tusla PPFS, a member of Parenting Limerick. Parenting Limerick is a network of parenting and family support organisations. [...]
Helping Your Child Manage Big EmotionsJanuary 22, 2026Homepage Display / Infants & Babies / Middle Childhood / Pre-School AgeEmotion regulation involves recognising emotions, understanding them, and using helpful strategies to cope effectively, especially in challenging situations. For children, learning to regulate emotions is important for developing social skills, managing frustration, and navigating complex situations. Children experience a range of emotions, from infancy through to adolescence, as they learn to understand themselves and the world around them. Parents and caregivers play an important role in helping children to navigate and manage their emotions.
To understand how children and young people develop the ability to regulate their emotions it is important to consider brain development. The brain undergoes significant development during childhood and this continues into adulthood. Different parts of the brain mature at different rates. The part of the brain that helps control impulses, manage emotions and plan responses is one of the last parts to fully mature. Children and young people can often struggle with impulse control, emotional regulation and understanding consequences. Remember, children are learning to manage big feelings and, like any skill they learn, they need our help and support to do so.
When children experience big emotions they experience physical changes in their bodies and their ability to think is also impacted. Often our tendency, in these moments, is to try to talk to our children, to fix things or problem solve. However, when they are feeling overwhelmed they are not able to do this and might not even be able to process what we say. There will be time for talking and problem solving later, but in the moment of a big emotion what our children need from us is our calming presence to help them understand their emotion and calm their nervous system. Our ability to be present with our children when they experience an emotion will help them, over time, to learn to manage emotions in a helpful way. When we can understand what is happening for our children we can approach emotional outbursts with empathy and support. This is called co-regulation.
Co-regulation is a process where children can develop the ability to manage big emotions and sensations through connection and nurturing with their caregivers. A warm and responsive relationship is the first step to co-regulation. Showing your child affection, taking an interest in them and their interests and ensuring lots of positive time together can all help support the parent-child relationship. Children also need to feel safe and secure in the world, and structure, limits and rules let them know that there is someone in charge and that they are safe. Ensuring consistent and predictable routines and structure is important. Having clear rules, boundaries and expectations, managed in a calm and kind way, is also vital.
Modelling emotions and labelling emotions in your child and others can help them to begin to put language on what they are feeling. It is important to model and practice calming strategies and helpful behaviours for managing emotions (not just during times of a big emotion). When your child does experience a big emotion remember they are having a hard time, respond with patience and empathy, use a calm tone, validate their emotions and set limits on unhelpful behaviours.
To effectively respond to big emotions the caregiver needs to remain calm. Some parents may find it easier to support their child with some emotions over others, and this can be different for each person. Being aware and conscious of what emotions you find harder to deal with can help you to respond to these big feelings in a different way.
Through patience, empathy, and effective guidance, parents play a pivotal role in helping their children develop the emotional regulation skills. By staying attuned to your child’s emotional needs and guiding them through emotional regulation, you help them develop the skills they will need to navigate life’s challenges.
Top Tips
Here are some simple strategies that can support both you and your child when big emotions take over:
1. Start with empathy: Stay non-judgemental, those feelings are very real for your child, even if they may seem small to you.
2. Give space while staying present. Step back if your child needs it but remain close and available. Your child may still seek a hug or reassurance.
3. Use fewer words. Avoid arguing or negotiating. Calm, simple phrases like “kind hands” or “kind words” work best.
4. Stay regulated yourself. Slow breathing can help you stay calm and support your child to calm too.
5. Remember emotions pass. Big feelings rise, peak, and eventually settle, even when it doesn’t feel that way at the time.
This article was contributed by the Primary Care Child and Family Psychology Service, a member of Parenting Limerick. [...]
Welcome 2021 as A ‘Good Enough’ ParentJanuary 9, 2026Homepage Display / Quality TimeWelcome 2026 as A ‘Good Enough’ Parent
Now that Christmas is over thoughts have turned to New Year resolutions. While pledges around healthier eating, starting savings accounts and getting more organised seem to top the polls, the energy behind them often dwindle as the dark days of January come and go. There are some new habits that are a lot easier to maintain than enthusiasm for your new gym membership – habits that involve your mind set. Think about who you are as a parent/care giver and maybe start to think about little tweaks that you could make that would result in a happier and more confident you.
There are two major areas of worry in parenthood; the constant worry about your child, twinned with the anxiety about whether you’re doing a good job. Will that time I really lost my cool be etched on to my son’s memory forever? Am I setting the right example for my teenage daughter around diet and body image? Will my children always remember that I forgot to buy Christmas pyjamas for the Toy Show? As parents, we always seem to find a stick to beat ourselves with! What we really need to focus on, however, is what we are good at. We need to bear in mind that fact that the perfect parent is a myth. Every parent does wonderful things for and with their children, and every parent drops the ball from time to time. Not only does that make us human but it models to our children that mistakes are ok. It lets them see that perfection is a fallacy and that doing your best – being good enough – is what matters.
Changing how we think takes practice. Research tells us that a new habit takes between 21 and 60 days to really become a regular part of our lives. Start small. You might want to spend some more quality time with your child, for example, so this would involve a change to both of your routines. Maybe you could start to take a walk together two evenings a week after dinner and let it just become a part of your weekly routine from January onwards. Find yourself overwhelmed with weekly meal planning and shopping? You could include the whole family. On Saturday morning you could all decide on the ‘menu’ for the week, which includes one favourite meal for each one of you. Your children feel included and heard, and you don’t have to give so much head space to the age old ‘what will I do for dinner’ dilemma?
Let 2026 be the year where you accept and congratulate yourself for being a good enough parent….because good enough is exactly what your child needs.
This article was by a member of Parenting Limerick, a network of parenting and family support organisations. [...]
Staying Healthy and Active as a FamilyJanuary 2, 2026Health & Welbeing / Homepage DisplayGetting healthy and active can be a great way to have fun together and improve the health of all the family.
If your child hasn’t been very active, start slowly with bursts of 15 to 30 minutes. Add activities over time until they reach the goal of at least 60 minutes a day.
Build activity into your daily routine—walk to school or the local shop, run up the stairs, play together in the garden or a nearby green.
Free play is just as important as structured activity. Running around the park, cycling, kicking a ball in the garden all count.
Kids love a challenge – setting them a task is a great way to get them active and keep them focused. For example, ask them: ‘How many skips can you do in a minute?’
Don’t let the rain or dark nights spoil the fun—grab the rain gear and set out on an adventure. Or, set up an obstacle course in the hallway—jump over couch cushions, weave through toy trucks, lift a book three times, etc. Your heart beat will be up and you will all be laughing.
Provided by ABC Start Right [...]
Families Getting Active TogetherJanuary 2, 2026Health & Welbeing / Homepage DisplayAs parents we would all like to see our children grow up to be as happy and healthy as they can possibly be. We want them to do well in school, have friends and grow up to be strong and confident individuals. One way we can do this is to encourage our children to do at least 20-30 minutes of exercise/physical activity every day. Getting involved in some of these activities with our children not only increases the bond we have with our children, but will also help them develop the habit of exercising as they get older.
There are many benefits associated with regular exercise for children. Children who exercise regularly will continue to exercise as adults. Regular exercise will also maintain strong muscles, bones and joints as well as helping to maintain a healthy body weight. Children who engage in regular activity do better in school, have better self esteem and have less instances of anxiety or depression. Also exercise can improve both the quality and quantity of your child’s sleep as well as helping to prevent or delay the development of many diseases such as Heart Disease, Diabetes and Obesity. Who wouldn’t want all of this for their children?
Exercise or physical activity can take on many different forms. It’s not all about going to the gym, lifting weights and running on treadmills. How many of us honestly have the time to do this? You can exercise with your children pretty much anywhere. It doesn’t mean that you have to sign your children up to gyms or sports clubs or buy expensive equipment. Walk briskly with them to the shop instead of taking the car. Go for a run around the block or organise some physical activity in the garden at home. The important thing is that you do it together, so that your child is getting the all the health benefits associated with exercise. You get to spend more quality time with your child and your child is learning healthy habits from you.
Children are never too young to start learning healthy habits from you. If you are going for a jog bring the baby with you in the stroller! Exercising at home? Include your child and get them to count your push ups or sits ups etc. Older children could be encouraged to participate in your activities with you. Take them on the cycle with you or if your cycle is too long, work it so that your child can either start or finish with you. The same can be said for walking, running and swimming. With a little bit of forward planning you can actively engage your child into your own exercise routine.
If you are looking to get more active with your family (or just on your own), the Limerick Sports Partnership offers a range of programmes and supports to help you get started.
Provided by Liam Cantwell “Limerick Sports Partnership” www.limerickcitysports.ie [...]
Sharing Family Traditions & Heritage With Our ChildrenDecember 16, 2025Homepage Display / Quality TimeRoasting chestnuts on an open fire, decking the halls with boughs of holly, kissing under the mistletoe, cuddling up for stories and hot chocolate in the glow of the fire and the twinkle of the Christmas lights are just some Christmas traditions and rituals carried out by many. Sharing these rituals and traditions with our children can really add an extra sparkle to what is already a magical time for them. This year Christmas will be different in a variety of ways however for many families the most significant difference will be in who we can spend the holiday period with. Gathering together with family and friends will have its challenges whether they live in the next street, the next county or indeed in a different country! So embracing as many of our traditions as possible will be all the more important.
For children, participating in family traditions enhances their sense of belonging and really makes them feel like they are a part of something very special. You may not think your family history is fascinating but your child will. The decisions made in the past contribute to the people we are today and the holidays are an opportunity to enrich your child’s life with stories, memories and anecdotes from your childhood and indeed the lives lived by your parents and grandparents. If you are lucky enough to still have grandparent or even great grandparents in your lives then make time for their stories and tales to be shared with your children. All the better if this can be in person but stories can be shared over the internet, in letters or just chatting about your memories.
People have been moving to different parts of the country and the world for generations so it stands to reason that children will find their family history interesting. Maybe there was a famous person in their family or perhaps someone took part in an important historical event or maybe their great aunt was famous for making big splashes jumping in puddles!
The stories and memories shared over the Christmas holidays can form part of your family tree. Think of using some of the time available to work on a family tree with your children. Gather old photos and label who is in each snap. When you look at old photographs share special memories. Tell your children all about the other people in the pictures. Add all the information you have about what family members did, liked and who they loved! Each generation is made up of the previous generation’s efforts, failures, successes, travels, struggles and accomplishments. Our history helps us be who we are today. Maybe start a new photo album or scrapbook with your children and explain that they will have this to share with their children in years to come.
Cooking and sharing food is such an important part of Christmas and cooking with your children is another way to celebrate your family heritage. Cook some recipes from your past and share with them the stories behind them as you do. Remember to also cook present day family favourites as these dishes will be the heritage of the future generations of your family.
Sing an old song, teach them to play a tune or curl up and read a favourite book from your childhood to them. It can be easy to take your history for granted and we can often assume that our children understand why we value a particular item or activity. It is so important that we talk to our children and share the stories behind our traditions. Why is one song so important to your family and not to your neighbour’s family? Your heritage and traditions illustrate the importance and meaning of family. Remember each family has their own. What are yours? Will you share them?
Top Tips for Sharing Family Traditions
Sharing family rituals and traditions with our children is important.
Participating in family traditions enhances our children’s sense of belonging.
Most children are fascinated by their family history and love hearing about their parents or grandparents childhood.
Encourage grandparents and other relative to share their stories and when face to face isn’t possible use letters, phone calls, recorded messages and online contact for sharing.
Great if family story involves being part of an important historical even but remember it is the small, simple facts that count such as a favourite book or song.
Spend time with your children looking at old photographs, add names to the faces and share all the information you have about what family members did, liked and who they loved!
Cook some recipes from your past and tell your children the stories behind the dishes as you cook.
Cook present day family favourites as these dishes will be the heritage of the future generations of your family.
Spend some time making a family tree. The stories and memories can form part of it. Use photos, drawings and words in your family tree. This can become an heirloom to pass to the next generation.
Our heritage and traditions illustrate the importance and meaning of family and remember each family has their own.
This article was contributed by Tusla PPFS and PAUL Partnership. Both are members of Parenting Limerick, a network of parenting and family support organisations. [...]
Managing Screentime and GamingDecember 1, 2025Homepage Display / Middle Childhood / TeenagersIn a recent survey of parents in Limerick, two in five said they wanted support in relation to screentime. In the first of a two part series, we will be focusing on screentime and online gaming. Screens are now a central part of daily life for children and teenagers. This has come into sharper focus in the last few weeks with the Prime Time focus on Roblox, an online gaming platform for primary school children.
Whether they are watching TV, scrolling through social media, messaging friends or playing online games, young people today are growing up in a world where digital devices feel almost inseparable from learning, entertainment and social connection. For many families, screens have become a helpful tool, it is a way to complete schoolwork, stay connected with friends or explore new hobbies. Yet, like any tool, how they are used matters. As parents, it can be hard to know how to support healthy screen habits at home, especially as technology continues to evolve so quickly.
Screen time refers to any activity done in front of a digital screen. This includes TVs, tablets, smartphones and computers. Children and teenagers now spend more time on screens than any previous generation. Research shows that children aged 8-12 spend an average of 4-6 hours online each day, while teenagers spend up to 9 hours daily. Adults also spend significant time online, averaging 7-10 hours per day. Because screens are now present in almost every setting; school, home, and social life, it is not just the amount of time that matters, but the quality and purpose of the screen use.
Screens can offer many benefits when used well. Children can learn new skills, expand their creativity, and stay connected with family and friends. Educational programmes and interactive games can support problem-solving, coordination and even aspects of executive functioning. Screens can be fun, social and stimulating. However, research also highlights important areas for parents to be aware of, especially when screens begin to replace key activities such as sleep, socialising, outdoor play and rest.
As children grow older, screens begin to influence other areas of wellbeing. Research consistently shows a relationship between high screen use and sleep difficulties. The stimulating nature of online content, especially close to bedtime, can make it harder for the brain to wind down. Blue light from screens also delays the release of melatonin, the hormone that signals the body to sleep, often leading to shorter sleep duration or a disrupted sleep cycle. Sleep difficulties can then impact mood, concentration and overall daily functioning.
Screen time can also influence eating habits and physical health. When screen use replaces physical activity, particularly long hours of TV or gaming, the risk of weight gain increases. Children exposed to frequent advertising during screen time may also develop stronger preferences for unhealthy snacks and sugary foods. While screens themselves do not cause health difficulties, the routines built around them can influence lifestyle patterns.
Many parents notice changes in attention or concentration when screen time increases. This can happen for a few reasons. When children spend long periods engaging in fast-paced digital content, their brain receives constant stimulation. Slower, real-life activities such as homework, reading or conversations may then feel harder or less rewarding. High screen use can also reduce the amount of time children spend practising skills like patience, problem-solving and emotional regulation.
This article was written by Diekololaoluwa Amujo, Psychology Assistant with the HSE Primary Care Child and Family Service, Limerick. This service is a member of Parenting Limerick. [...]
Building Self-Esteem Through PraiseNovember 26, 2025Home LifeSelf-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. It is personal, it is relational, and it begins in early childhood. As we move through life, school, social activities, personal characteristics, and interactions within the family all shape our sense of self. Positive praise, especially in relation to a child’s intrinsic characteristics and efforts, is one of the most effective tools to build their self-esteem.
As children learn about the world, they tend to accept without question most of what they are told about themselves. Developing self-esteem from an early age is important – so a child can draw on this as they grow older.
Usually, we talk about ‘high’ or ‘low’ self-esteem. In children, high self-esteem is typically associated with positive attitudes and behaviours, such as happiness, the ability to make friends, ability to overcome difficulties, and positive self-beliefs. In contrast, low self-esteem is usually recognised by a tendency to focus on weaknesses or mistakes, difficulty in recognising positive self-attributes, and blaming oneself for difficulties or failures.
When children receive frequent positive messages from their parents, they are more likely to internalize this form of thinking and use it to strengthen their own confidence. Praise needs to be specific and meaningful. Empty praise does not help, as children won’t internalise it.
Self-esteem can also be ‘secure’ or ‘fragile.’ Individuals with secure self-esteem genuinely like and value themselves for who they are, rather than for their talents or accomplishments. These children also tend to recognise both their strengths and weaknesses, are more socially confident, and manage to ‘bounce-back’ from failures.
On the other hand, fragile self-esteem is based on achievements: ‘what I do,’ rather than ‘who I am’. Children with fragile self-esteem tend to seek constant validation, often boasting or exaggerating their achievements. That is why parents can often misinterpret this kind of behaviour as high self-esteem. But beneath the surface, children might be experiencing difficulty accepting their weaknesses, may tend to blame others for failures, and may not respond well to criticism.
Children who receive praise from their parents develop higher and more secure self-esteem. Notice unique, intrinsic, positive characteristics about your child, and tell them. This means the wonderful personality traits that make them who they are, such as kindness or a good sense of humour. Praise their efforts, not just their successes. That way, children understand that it is ok to fail, and they should be proud for trying, regardless of the outcomes.
This article was contributed by Megan McGinley, Assistant Psychologist, HSE Child and Family Primary Care Psychology Services. HSE Psychology Services are a member of Parenting Limerick. [...]
Supporting Young People with Body ImageNovember 21, 2025TeenagersBody image relates to how we feel about our body and appearance, including how we see ourselves, how we think and feel about our body, as well as how we believe others perceive us. The way we think and feel about our appearance can vary. Sometimes, we may see ourselves positively and can feel good about ourselves. While other times, we may perceive ourselves negatively and might struggle with how we look. As a parent, there it can be heartbreaking to hear that their son or daughter are not happy with their body image.
There are evident gender differences in how people perceive and feel about their bodies. Research consistently shows us that boys and girls experience body image concerns in different ways, with girls generally reporting slightly higher levels of concern. Girls tend to be less satisfied with their bodies compared to boys. This difference seems to be influenced by socialised beauty standards. These often promote a “thin” ideal for females and emphasise “muscularity and strength” as the ideal for males.
Struggles with body image can occur at any stage of life. For young people, these issues become more relevant around adolescence and puberty. During this time, hormonal changes begin to influence both the body and mind. Girls typically develop wider hips and naturally carry more fat on their hips and thighs. Boys experience growth spurts, voice changes and the development of facial and body hair. As these physical changes develop at different rates for each individual, puberty can be a difficult period for teens. Teens may feel more vulnerable and self-conscious, as they try to understand their changing bodies. They also become more aware of their appearance and other people’s appearances.
Body dissatisfaction is the negative self-evaluation of one’s weight, shape or appearance. This can significantly affect teenagers’ mental health and self-esteem. It often develops when there is a mismatch between one’s perceived body image and their ideal body image. This mismatch can lead to body image distress, where teens may experience negative feelings about their bodies and appearance. This includes sadness, anxiety, anger, fear, disgust, or guilt.
Teens receive messages about body shapes, weight, and desirable appearance through interacting with social media, family, and peers. These are typically the primary core influences at play in the development of body image issues at adolescence.
Teens are exposed to “unrealistic ideal bodies” via media posts i.e. Instagram, TikTok, television, magazines and advertisements. Exposure to these can lead teens to internalise and value unrealistic ideals. These ideals then contribute to negative appearance-related comparisons with others. Research has consistently linked this to body dissatisfaction and psychological distress, including low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.
Parents’ attitudes towards diet, weight, shape and appearances are important. Research shows that parent comments and criticism about their child’s body can affect body dissatisfaction. Parents’ eating behaviours and attitudes towards their own bodies impacts children’s body dissatisfaction.
As children grow older, their peers also begin to play significant roles in reinforcing what an ideal body looks like. Studies show that friends can influence body image through appearance-based talk, comparisons, and teasing. Peer pressure to look a certain way can also increase body concerns among teens. Teen friendship groups typically share similar attitudes and behaviours toward body image. These influences have all been linked to greater body dissatisfaction and lower self-esteem.
As parents, we can sometime struggle to know what to do or say to our children when they are struggling with how they appear. You see how beautiful your child is but how can you help them?
Encourage media literacy: Have conversations about social media. This creates awareness around the content they can be exposed to online. We can support our children’s awareness by reminding them not to believe everything they read or see. Teach them that images and photographs can often be filtered, photoshopped or edited.
Set healthy boundaries on social media use: Children can benefit from having healthy boundaries around social media. Encourage breaks from social media. Offline or outdoor hobbies and physical activities can support appreciation of body functionality and health.
Encourage body positivity: How we talk about body image has a significant influence on young people’s body satisfaction. As parents, making positive comments to our children and encouraging body positivity can be protective. Statements such as ‘Your body helps you learn, play and explore the world’ and ‘I’m grateful to my body for supporting me to care for you’ shift the focus from the body’s appearance to its functionality.
Model Self-acceptance: Parents are role models for children. Demonstrating positive attitudes and beliefs about body image can influence children’s body satisfaction.
Validate their feelings: Body image is about how a person sees and feels about their own body. When your teen is upset, you can offer emotional support by being present and validating their emotions. This does not mean agreeing with them. Refrain from correcting their worries as this can feed into a negative body thought they may be experiencing. Giving them space to feel heard can be really supportive.
Self-care: Parents are only human too. Notice when you need space to connect with yourself. Address your own stress levels, so that you have more space to support your young person in navigating these issues.
This article was written by Diekololaoluwa Amujo, Psychology Assistant with the HSE Primary Care Child and Family Service, Limerick. This service is a member of Parenting Limerick. [...]
Help Your Child To Problem Solve – It’s a Life Skill!November 12, 2025Home Life / Homepage DisplaySolving problems is such an important life skill and one that we are constantly striving to perfect throughout life. As parents, we can sometimes take this responsibility out of our children’s hands. Sometimes it seems easier to solve their problems for them. We can feel like it’s our job, our responsibility. It helps them and makes their lives easier and often our own lives are simpler if we just do it ourselves. But this is not always the best option for our children and it is important that they learn and practice problem solving skills from a young age so that they can become confident in their ability to solve problems throughout their lives.
So how can parents help their children learn this vital life skill? Try to turn problem solving into a game and make it fun. Your children could become “detectives” trying to solve their problems. When your child has a problem help them to generate lots of ideas about what they could do so that they have a number of choices. Make it personal for them if you can. Ask them if they have ever had a problem like this before and what they did then or maybe their friend had a similar experience, what did they do?
Allow them the time to explore each solution. For example they could act it out for you or draw pictures. It doesn’t have to be complicated – just ask them to show you. This process helps children to have an awareness of the possible consequences of each solution. When exploring possible solutions help your child to figure out which might be the best one by asking them is it fair? Is it safe? Does it lead to good feelings?
Investigate the feelings that each solution generates with them. Naming feelings is important for children so that they can learn to self regulate and learn better responses. Prepare your children for the possibility that their solution might not work. Ask them what they will do next if it doesn’t.
The best way to teach our children these skills is to model them. Talk through the process of solving some of your own problems aloud. Include the steps of generating ideas, exploring which one would be best, considering feelings and planning for the possibility that your first solution might not work. Use stories, puppets, drawing and role play so that children can learn this skill and practice it over and over, enabling them to refine and perfect their problem solving abilities.
This article was contributed by a member of Parenting Limerick. Parenting Limerick is a network of parenting and family support organisations. [...]
Temper TantrumsNovember 12, 2025Pre-School Age / ToddlersAs most parents will probably tell you, they have gone through any number of embarrassing situations where their little angels have burst out in the most almighty of tantrums in the middle of the supermarket or parking lot, or anywhere where there’s lots of people present to witness the event.
This is a particularly stressful event for parents. We can be embarrassed, frustrated, even angry. But what we need to realise is that a toddler tantrum is not about us or our feelings, it is all about the feelings going through our child’s mind at that time and how they are expressing it.
Some tantrums are simply about the child wanting to push boundaries perhaps to get an additional treat/toy/game. By trying to see things from the child’s perspective, it is much easier not to take tantrums personally.
Things to remember during a tantrum
Wherever the tantrum takes place, either at home or outside it is important to try and remember these important elements:
By having a tantrum, a child is letting us know that something has upset them or frustrated them. They could simply be tired, hungry or bored and because of this, are more irritable.
Young children, especially toddlers, have not developed the verbal skills and abilities to let us know what is going wrong in a calm manner, so they let all the feelings out the only way they know how.
Regardless of the reason for the outburst, it has strong meaning for the child even if it seems like a very trivial thing to us.
Toddlers and young children have to learn how to regulate their emotions and how they express them, so they need to learn by example from others, especially from their parents.
Children learn from the adults around them
This last point is important for all parents to note. We are the main focal point for our children to learn from. Children see how we react to different things and learn these reactions from us, so we have a very important role to play. How we react to a toddler’s tantrum can influence how any future tantrums are successfully dealt with.
When exploring parenting skills, regardless of where those skills are applied, there are some key points to remember:
When our child gets angry, we need to remain calm, regardless of how they are acting.
Consistency is key in any parenting situation. As parents we need to try and keep our reactions consistent so our children learn to expect the same reaction again and again.
By keeping calm and consistent, our children learn to react in a similar fashion and will develop this skill set for themselves.
The opposite is true also. So if we react to a toddler’s tantrum by shouting, or dragging our child away or perhaps even slapping them, then the only lesson they learn is that “In a frustrating situation, the first option is to react negatively or even aggressively”.
Where parents keep calm in any frustrating situation, children learn to remain calm themselves and will also feel safe and protected by this level of consistency. In the long term this will make the child far more likely to express themselves positively.
Parenting Skills
Parenting is not a science. It is a series of trial and error. Our children are unique individuals and so we have to adapt to their needs whilst also keeping our parenting skills as positive as possible. It would be wonderful to be able to write a specific set of guidelines that applied to all children in a tantrum situation, but realistically we have to work out a lot for ourselves in terms of how best to respond to our children’s needs.
What we can be sure of however are three simple points:
Consistency
Repetition
Certainty
These three points are the basis of any type of positive parenting.
Tips for Parents/Guardians/Carers
Keep how you react in a certain situation the same once you have found a positive system that works.
We all learn by repetition rather than in just “one off” situations. So remember your child learns in this way too, so you will have to repeat what you do many times before your child begins to understand this is how you react and how we should react generally.
Once consistency and repetition are achieved then this gives the child a feeling of certainty. A confidence in how their parents will react, and even a feeling of safety in this realisation. Once a child feels safe and listened to, then they will react more and more positively as they grow.
Prevention is better than cure: Know your toddler, while it is important for each child to face challenges, know your child’s limits, look for and be aware of triggers.
Create diversions/ Distract
Choose your battles/ Ignore minor issues
Say No and mean it – stick to it. Do not reward the tantrum.
Don’t give in to embarrassment – Know that any parent that sees you with a toddler having a tantrum will empathise because we have all been there!
Give children positive choices. Finally, parents need to remember that we are not infallible. We will make mistakes, but we will learn from them too. And once we can display a positive reaction to any situation, our children will learn this skill too.
Provided by “ISPCC” Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children www.ispcc.ie [...]
Temper Tantrums – Top TipsNovember 5, 2025Homepage Display / ToddlersAcknowledge their emotions
When children are experiencing a temper tantrum, they are typically not able to understand their emotions. Therefore, it is vital to name these feelings for them. Something as simple as ‘You are really sad that we have to clean up the toys now. We can play again later’ can make a big difference.
Stay calm
Temper tantrums can be scary for both adult and child. If you can stay calm you give your child the message that you can handle their emotions and this will help them to feel calmer.
Catch them being good
It’s important to praise and pay attention to the behaviours that you want to see more of.
Stick to your rules
Follow through on the boundaries and limits which you put in place.
Be Kind
While it is important to put boundaries in place, you should still be kind when doing so. You could say, for example, ‘I understand that you are upset. It can be hard not getting what we want, but you’re not allowed any sweets right now’.
Find out the reason behind the tantrum
Are they hugely distressed? Are they able to argue with you? Are there tears?
Stay with them
It is important to stay with your child when they are experiencing a tantrum so that you can help them manage their distress.
Provide prompts and warnings for transitions
Tell children about upcoming changes, for example ‘we’re leaving the swings in five minutes’.
Play with your child
Schedule time to sit down and play with your child.
Take time out for yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
[...]
Temper TantrumsNovember 5, 2025ToddlersTemper tantrums are extreme outward expressions of a child’s feelings. As many of you might already know, they can be scary for both children and parents. Although it may not feel this way in the moment, temper tantrums are actually positive as they are teaching a child’s brain how to manage stress in later life. As parents, you have a wonderful opportunity in supporting your children to do this.
There are two types of temper tantrums; Distress Tantrums and Little Nero Tantrums. Distress Tantrums do exactly what they say on the tin. During a Distress Tantrum, a child is experiencing huge emotional upset. They can be triggered by feelings of disappointment, loss, or frustration. Little Nero Tantrums are about a desire to control something, which is very typical in young children.
Distress Tantrums
During a distress tantrum your child will be hugely upset, the verbal and thinking functions of the brain become hijacked and all they can do is express their emotions (AKA scream and cry). This is vital to remember because it means that any attempts at reason and/or to rationalise events are a waste of your time; they also do nothing to soothe your child. Young children are not able to access the part of their brain that helps them think during these temper tantrums as the connections between parts of their brains are still developing. During a distress tantrum, the best way to de-escalate the situation is to comfort your child, label their feelings, and avoid punishing them for their display of emotions. It is important to remember this is genuine distress for your child and if you meet them with empathy and understanding you will be helping to develop their brain’s stress regulation systems.
Little Nero Tantrums
In contrast, when a child is having a Little Nero Tantrum, they will not experience deep despair or anguish. They are able to talk and express themselves as they do not have stress chemicals flooding their brain. These tantrums are usually seen when a child does not get their own way. While it is important to always acknowledge your child’s feelings, you must also stick to your boundaries or rules. The message you are trying to convey is that you won’t give into their demands but you also care about their feelings and understand this situation is difficult for them. If you give in during a Little Nero tantrum you are in danger of teaching your child that the more of a fight they put up the more likely you are to give in. Phrases such as ‘I know you are really mad at mammy and that’s ok but you are not allowed another biscuit’, allow you to stick to your boundaries while labelling and validating their emotions. Try to eliminate the option of ‘no’ for your child. To do this introduce choice between two equally acceptable options. For example ‘would you like to brush your teeth before or after your bath’ or ‘would you like to put your hat or your coat on first’?
This article was contributed by a member of Parenting Limerick. Parenting Limerick is a network of parenting and family support organisations. [...]
Communication in ConflictNovember 5, 2025Homepage Display / TeenagersCommunication in Conflict
Imagine your older child or teenager arrives home two hours later than you had agreed. How do you feel? How do you respond? When we are angry, we might snap and raise our voice, which can cause unnecessary distress in relationships. When we are sad, we might tend to avoid “that” conversation, thus letting strong feelings and tension develop.
Here are four steps to more effective communication with older children and adolescents.
Focus on the Problem:
We’ve all been there: we get swept up in the upset and we lose focus. Suddenly, it’s not just about coming home late. It’s also about that permanently untidy bedroom, or the time your child fought with their sibling a few days ago. When we are feeling annoyed and frustrated, these other issues may come to mind. However, bringing these issues into the conversation makes us look like we are on the attack. Instead, try focussing on the one problem at a time. It is a more effective way for you and your child to problem solve the issue together.
Know When to Take Time Out
When it comes to timeouts, we tend to think they are only for children. But stepping away from an escalating conflict is also a very effective tool for parents. It allows you to ground yourself, think more clearly and focus on solving the problem, instead of yielding to strong emotions which may cloud your ability to problem solve. For example, you can say, “I am feeling very angry at the moment and think it would be a good idea to take a break. We can continue this when we are both feeling calmer”. Alternatively, you could introduce a code word to express this that both you and your young person understand.
It is important to remember that a time out is not avoiding the conflict. Both you and your child should return to the discussion when the big feelings subside and you have considered the situation calmly. Talking things through calmly can lead to a healthier solution, and avoid the added stress of arguing.
Reflective Listening:
Reflective listening is when you hear and interpret what the other person has said, and reflect it back to them in your own words. For example, “so what you’re saying is, you are late coming home because you missed the bus” or “so what I am hearing is that you don’t care that we had agreed a curfew for you tonight”. Reflective listening is a very helpful way to check you clearly understand the other person’s viewpoint, instead of focusing on what you are going to say next. Conflict can be resolved more effectively when both people are listening to each other. Also, the other person can clarify what they are intending to say and feel heard and understood.
Use “I” Statements:
Blame is a tricky pattern during a disagreement. We point out behaviours or characteristics that we do not think are helpful and we blame the person for how they make us feel. For example, “you are always late and you never care about the rules”. This can feel like an accusation and is likely to make your child feel defensive. An “I” statement would be: “I feel angry when you come home later than agreed”. Here, we are sharing our feelings and taking responsibility for them ourselves, while also explaining what has triggered this feeling.
As a final thought, consider that problem solving is a shared responsibility. If we are really mad, doing all of the talking and not listening, we are not doing our part in problem solving. But if we are calm, listening carefully and expressing how we feel without blame, it is more difficult for someone to escalate a disagreement. These are very healthy skills to model to our young people as they grow up and experience their own conflicts and interpersonal challenges.
This article was written by HSE Primary Care Child and Family Psychology Services, a member of Parenting Limerick. [...]
How to help your young child adjust to the clocks going backOctober 14, 2025Homepage Display / Quality Time‘Spring forward and fall back’ is always welcome in the Autumn when that extra hour in bed for one Sunday morning is worth its weight in gold…unless you’re a parent of young children. Sunday 26th October, the clocks with go back an hour. Dawn wake-ups are barely manageable in the summer even though the light makes it feel that the day has started. Starting your day at 5.30am on dark, windy October mornings is just cruel. It’s a double whammy of injustice when you don’t have the luxury of making yourself a coffee for fear that the noise of the kettle or machine will wake the other (sleeping for now) child. When you’re having lunch at 11am and longing to crawl into your bed by 4pm, maybe it’s time to tweak bedtime routines.
Babies and toddlers thrive on routine. The hour change can affect their little circadian rhythms for anything up to two weeks and they need a little help with that adjustment. From Sunday morning you’ll probably find that your baby or toddler wants to go to bed at what is now an hour earlier. Logically then, they are waking an hour earlier. Anybody with an over-tired, over-wrought little one who wants to sleep at tea-time knows that this is dangerous territory. If they nap, they won’t go down for the night until all hours and if they don’t, you may both end up howling from exhaustion!
To minimise the impact on routine, the easiest solution may be to stretch out bedtime by just 15 minutes a night, and do this every night for 4 or 5 nights until your baby is going to bed at their regular time. So last week, their bedtime was 7.30pm but this week they are really fussy and tired at 6.30pm. Start the bedtime routine (i.e. bath, feed, story and cuddle) at 6pm and put them down at 6.45pm. The next night, at 7pm and so on until you’re back to the old time. This should be reflected in later waking times, in 10 to 15 minute increments each morning. It’s hard but you’ll get there! Just try not to pick them up the minute they wake. If you let them self-settle, they may drift back to sleep. If they are fussy, take them back into bed with you and explain that it’s dark outside so everybody stays in bed until the sun comes up. If you start reading, singing or playing, your little one will take their cue from you and jump straight into awake mode.
The above advice generally works for children up to the age of about 7 or 8. For older children, the mid-term break from school means that their routine is probably pretty loose this week so bedtimes are a moveable feast. Try to start winding it back by Friday night, so that the first day of school isn’t harder than it needs to be. As ever, encourage books over screens as a way to wind down and keep a consistent ‘lights out’ time. As adults, we can often have difficulty with bedtime boundaries ourselves (the curse of our phones!) so it’s really important that we help children develop good bedtime routines and general structures around their sleep.
This article was contributed a member of Parenting Limerick. [...]
Supporting Your Child’s Sensory NeedsOctober 10, 2025Home Life / Homepage DisplayWhat is Sensory Processing?
Sensory processing is the ability to take in, sort out and make use of information from our environment. All activities in life involve the processing of sensory information. Information is received through all our senses, including vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell. Sensory processing also includes our movement and balance, our awareness of our body and its location as well as our awareness of our inner body cues.
We all have sensory preferences. Individuals can be over-responsive or under responsive to sensory information. Whether a child is over-responsive and/or under responsive to sensory input, the primary goal is to support and accommodate their sensory needs within their environment to promote their participation in daily activities. Failing to recognise and support these needs is likely to impact on learning emotions and behaviour.
Understanding Your Child’s Sensory and Emotional Needs
Behaviour is how a person reacts in response to things happening inside them (thoughts or feelings) and outside of them (their environment). As adults we often have the ability to tell others if something is bothering us or to identify and communicate if we have a specific need. Children are still developing the capacity to effectively identify and verbalise their needs. As such their communication is often done through their behaviour. As parents, sometimes our child’s behaviour can be confusing to us, making it difficult to see the underlying need, and this can be challenging.
Sometimes a child’s behaviour may be indicating an emotional need (for example overwhelm, anxiety, sadness, anger, happiness, a need for connection) or a physical need (for example hunger, tiredness, illness). Other times their behaviours may be letting us know that they are under or over responsive to sensory information in their environment. For example, you may observe a pattern where your child’s behaviour and emotions become dysregulated in environments where there is a lot of noise and bright lights or strong smells. This is not always easy to figure out but when we do so it allows us to identify the child’s sensory preferences and therefore support their sensory needs.
Supporting Your Child’s Sensory and Emotional Needs
Ensuring a good routine to support adequate sleep as well as a good diet and exercise help support physical wellbeing. Providing time for fun, connection and play with parents and others can fill their emotional cups. Ensuring that there are rules and boundaries that are clear and enforced with warmth and love are also important factors in helping children feel safe.
When we can step back, give ourselves space and time to calm and think about our child’s behaviour, then we can begin to come up with possible reasons to understand why it is happening. This can help us be more understanding and empathetic. We can help our children learn to identify and manage their own emotions by repeatedly providing them with co-regulation. Co-regulation is a warm and responsive interaction where parents help label and validate their child’s emotions by connecting with them and soothing their distress. We need to maintain boundaries, but we can also help with the difficult feelings that come with the upsets and challenges of life. The trickiest part of this can be recognising our own emotions and ensuring we stay calm and can respond and support our children in a warm and kind way.
Top Tips
Fill your child’s cup. Children need their ‘emotional cups’ filled daily, meaning they need to receive sufficient amounts of attention, affection, and security. When their cup is empty, children can be more prone to experiencing difficulties with their emotions and behaviours. It is important to incorporate daily, uninterrupted, one-to-one time together, where you follow your child’s lead, allowing them to choose what they would like to do or talk about with you.
Manage your own emotions. When your child becomes overwhelmed, has big feelings or becomes dysregulated from the sensory input from their environment, it is important to try to manage your own emotions and stay calm. Check in with yourself, and notice how you are currently feeling, before responding to your child. Being aware of these things, help you to tune into your child’s behaviours and understand the need they are trying to communicate with you.
Parental self-care. Parental self-care is vital to ensure that parents are best equipped to respond effectively to their child. When we don’t understand our child’s behaviour it can be difficult, and so it is important that parents ensure their own needs are being met. You can’t pour from an empty cup!
Identify appropriate supports. If your child’s behaviour is communicating some sensory needs or preferences, then you can put certain supports in place to help them get through their day. For children who experience hypersensitivity, one must consider sensory input from the child’s environment and how accommodations can be put in place to support the child, for example, creating a calm space to help them to regulate and lower their arousal from the overwhelming sensory input from their environment. For children with hyposensitivity, items like fidget toys, heavy work activities and visual timers can be helpful. It is important to keep in mind that each child is an individual, some trial and error may be required and there is no one size fits all strategy.
Link with your GP: If your child is presenting with sensory needs and behaviours that are impacting on daily functioning, you and your child may benefit from professional support. Speak with your GP, who will be able to sign-post you to the most appropriate support.
This article was contributed by Written by Miranda Comar, Psychology Assistant (Primary Care Child and Family Psychology Service, St Camillus’ Hospital), in conjunction with Senior Occupational Therapists Eimear Goulding (Barrack View Primary Care Centre), and Stephanie Van Haaren (Croom Primary Care Centre) on behalf of Parenting Limerick. [...]
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