Week 2: Why am I allowing a film crew to follow my journey?
So when the idea was first put to me I said: No way
You see when you want something really bad, emotions run high! Throw in a load of hormones, drugs on top and you’re guaranteed a disaster or a divorce. But it got me thinking and fast forward 5 months, there I was sitting with the production team signing my dignity away.
The main reason is this time I didn’t want to be alone; I didn’t want to hide my failures. I wanted to celebrate them and I wanted to give other women courage and strength in themselves and their journey. I wanted to celebrate and help educate Ireland on IVF and our struggles to have a baby.
I wanted to be a face that women could relate to–When you fail a cycle, all you want to do is hide. I was so ashamed and I felt that my role as a woman in society was non-existent. I felt I was here to produce a baby and I couldn’t do that…
So what is my purpose in life? Everyone’s asking when I’m going to have a baby. Well it’s not simple for all women so I’m here to show what we go through in the quest to have a baby.
I’m allowing the camera crew to follow my every move, scans, tests and phones calls, even egg retrieval and implantation. I also have a home camera that will capture some pretty raw moments. I’m so excited to help other women on their journey.
Denise’s IVF journey is being filmed by TV3 and will be aired early in the new year.
Day 1: Dr Lydia enters the waiting room. She calls: “Denise Phillips” I haven’t seen Dr Lydia in two years. I told her I wouldn’t see her again. She told me different. Dr Lydia was right!
Day 2: You think it would be easier this time, but all the tests, scans, bloods, forms and protocol have to be redone all over again. Blood tests, SIS test, AMH test, semen tests…It doesn’t take long to remember or to get back into the swing of things.
Day 3: I’m feeling good.
Day 4: I’ve had 4 breakdowns.
Day 5: I was threatening to leave my hubby.
Day 6: I long for twins.
One thing I will say is this time, as I’ve chosen to go public; it’s much easier as I’m not alone. I’m allowing everyone to support me on our journey and the response is so incredible. It really is keeping me going.
Do you have questions that you want to ask Denise? Or would like to show her your support? Feel free to comment below.
Want to see behind the scenes footage of Denise’s IVF journey? Follow her on Snapchat username: dephillipa or Facebook: MillionDollarBaby.
If you are affected by issues raised in this article or would like access to further information and support, please see contact information below.
National Infertility Support and Information Group
For NISIG Website Click Here
Image copyright of Gary O’Donnell click here to see other work