Top Tips for Letting go of the expectation to be the ‘perfect parent’.

  • There is so much we cannot control, but there are things we can choose. What can you bring to your day to make time for you? What can you choose to bring to the space between you and your young person?
  • Sometimes young people may show their distress through lashing out or having a ‘melt down’. Try and tune into this before reacting – which is easier said than done! Ask yourself ‘Is the young person trying to say something to me?’ This can help us become more understanding.
  • Remember to give space. Are there creative ways you can use the home such as having a cup of tea outside or setting up your work station in the hallway?
  • Acknowledge that there may be a lot of feelings for young people such as anger, loss and fear. Young people are very conscious about not wanting to add to the stress of parents. Can you give some time in the day to talk about this in a safe way?
  • Can you help young people to connect with their friends? It may mean loosening the boundaries on screen time as friends are an important protective factor for young people.
  • Let go of the expectation to be the ‘perfect parent’. This does not exist.
  • Focus on getting through each day. Self-compassion may be reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can in a really challenging time.