As a parent, it can feel like a losing battle trying to keep our kids safe online since even with safeguards in place, porn or extreme violence is just a click away. We can also face relentless pressure from our kids to give them smart devices before we think they’re ready for all that comes with that access.
I know it’s not easy because I’ve faced this pressure myself as the parent of a tween and teenager. I got my daughter a smartphone at 12, but she didn’t get access to any social media until later and in fact I only allowed her to have Snapchat aged 15, despite many arguments around the social isolation from her peers that she would endure. I did it because to my mind, the benefits of Snapchat did not outweigh the risks for a young teen.
It might just be getting a bit easier however. I’m seeing a real shift in recent times with parents coming together to agree to hold off on access to smartphones and in some cases, social media, which has made the conversation with my son more straightforward, since he won’t be the only one in his peer group. I appreciate that it’s not the easiest option in the face of social pressure but, they may thank you for it one day!
Until tech companies are truly held accountable, we as parents must take the lead in educating and talking to our children about inappropriate content they may encounter online, helping them recognise harmful situations, and establishing rules for their online activities. We also need to keep a consistent eye on what they’re seeing and doing online.
Taking an interest in your child’s online life is key to helping us as parents become more involved, and believe it or not, this parental involvement is essential to ensuring a safer online environment for them. Simply asking them what they are doing, watching, or playing online gives us a chance to connect and engage in their online lives to the same extent as their offline lives.
Online Safety Advice
Our Same Rules Apply campaign seeks to support parents in approaching children’s online lives with the same care and supervision that we apply to their offline lives. However, it’s not solely the parents’ responsibility; Big Tech must also be compelled to create safer online spaces for children. The reality is that these spaces were not designed with children in mind and, as a consequence, present risks to children, particularly in relation to inappropriate content and harmful contact.
Always remember that when you give your child access to the online world, you are also giving the online world access to your child.
TOP TIPS FOR PARENTS
ENGAGE AND SUPPORT:
- Have regular conversations with your children about what they’re seeing and doing online, including the fun and potentially harmful content or contact they may encounter.
- Discuss how people online may not always be who they say they are. Talk to them what to do if contacted by strangers online (people they don’t know offline).
- Ensure they know that they can always come to you if they feel upset or scared by something they’ve seen online. Reassure them that speaking up won’t result in losing online privileges, fostering an open channel of communication to protect them from negative experiences.
MAKE RULES:
Put simple rules in place around use and access to smart devices, and stick to them. Avoid any situation where a child or teenager has unsupervised access to their smart devices in their bedroom, especially overnight!
- Establish when, where, and how long devices can be used.
- Implement device-free mealtimes/zones.
- Limit friend/follower lists and agree upon the online activities and games they can access.
- Keep devices in open spaces, not unsupervised behind closed doors
- Designate a ‘one screen at a time’ rule to avoid multiscreening i.e. watching TV while also playing a game on another device.
- Agree as a family to charge devices (mobiles, laptops, tablets, gaming consoles) downstairs overnight to promote healthier habits.
MONITOR AND SUPERVISE:
- Before you give your child a smart device, have an agreement that you will regularly and openly check your child’s device and apps. This will help you catch any negative interactions or inappropriate content and contact at an early stage.
- Observe changes in mood or behavior that might indicate online issues such as cyberbullying or grooming.
- Foster trust and transparency as children grow, balancing privacy, which they will inevitably want more of, with supervision.
DO YOUR RESEARCH:
- Stay informed about the apps and games your child uses or wants to use, ensuring they are age-appropriate.
- Learn how to enable privacy settings and parental controls, but don’t rely on them alone!
- Use resources like Common Sense Media, Webwise, PEGI, and CyberSafeKids for guidance on the dos and don’ts of particular apps, age ratings and reviews of games, as well as other information to support you.
CREATE HEALTHY HABITS:
- Model the healthy behaviors you want to see yourself and encourage family digital detoxes.
- Focus on the quality of online activities, rather than the quantity of screen time.
- Limit passive activities like endless scrolling or mindless gaming.
- Promote positive tech use, such as listening to audiobooks, learning, chatting with friends, or enhancing digital skills.
- Strive for a balance between online and offline activities.
BUILD OR JOIN A COMMUNITY OF SUPPORT: It is much easier to say ‘no’ or ‘not yet’ to your child if you know that like-minded parents and caregivers in their peer group are doing the same.
This article was written Alex Cooney, CEO of CyberSafeKids, on behalf of Parenting Limerick. For more information about CyberSafeKids’ Same Rules Apply campaign, including practical tips and useful resources in the accompanying Better Digital Parenting guide, can be found at cybersafekids.ie/samerulesapply.
