Strengthening Families: Notice and Compliment the Good Daily

Loveparenting.ie is delighted to be able to share some worksheets and tip sheets from the Strengthening Families Programme. The materials provide practical tips and ideas to help parents build strong and healthy relationships with their children.

This is the second in the series and builds on the last worksheet, The Four Family Fun Sheet, which gave some practical ideas on how to spend time together and have fun. This worksheet, 40 Phrases that Praise, is about building strong relationships with our child. One of the best ways to do this is to make sure that your child (and everyone in your family, including you!) knows that they are valued and loved and that they have a special, secure place in your family.

There are a few practical ways to do this:

  • Notice what is good about each member of your family
  • Give specific compliments on this daily
  • Encourage all members of the family to do this for each other
  • Try to ignore annoying behavior and to constantly find fault

Giving regular, specific compliments to your child will help them see themselves as valuable and will help you all appreciate each other as a family.

Sometimes it can be difficult to find the word to give compliments—“40 Phrases that Praise” will help to get you started and give you some ideas. You might read through them, see what words feel right for you and make them your own. Remember if you say something like, “Well done”; follow up with something concrete, like “I’m really pleased that you are trying so hard with your maths homework.”  If you say, “Great Job!”, follow up with “You showed a lot of creativity with that painting.”

Remember: “Noticing and Complimenting the good increases my appreciation for family members and helps them behave better.”

We’d love to hear your ideas on how you praise your children and how it works for you. Please share in the comments below.

 

The Strengthening Families Programme (SFP) is an evidence-based 14-week family skills training programme that involves the parents and teens/children in three classes run on the same night once a week. Families enjoy a meal on arrival, then parents and teens /children engage in separate skills based sessions for 1 hour. This is followed by a family skills session in the second hour, where skills are practiced with parents and teens/children. Incentives such as rewards for attendance, child minding and transport are also offered to enable families to complete the programme and remove barriers to attendance (UNODC, 2010).

If you would like more information on the Strengthening Families Programme, please see http://sfpcouncilireland.ie/strengthening-families/. If you would like information on the delivery of programmes in Limerick, please contact Joe Slattery with the CSMT at jslattery@csmt.ie or 061-317688.

Reference:
United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (2010) Compilation of Evidence-Based Family Skills Training Programmes, United Nations, New York.